A Year in Review

Amber is usually the one who sends out updates and that kind of stuff, but she’s so busy and not feeling well these days, so I’ll post a Christmas Card Letter of sorts here. This is how I remember this year:

In January, we were living with my parents in the basement and feeling kind of squished. We started looking for a place of our own and found a cute little 4-plex right by our old high school. It had a basement and a yard so the thoughts of the boys having a space to play were very tempting.

At the end of the month Amber and I took a weekend trip to Edmonton for a worship conference. It was a nice refreshing time but Downtown Edmonton closes for the weekend, so we were stuck walking in -20C snowy weather trying to find a place that was open and without a huge lineup for our mealtimes. I wouldn't recommend Edmonton in the winter.

In February, we signed a 6-month lease and moved into our second place of the year. We bought some new furniture and a digital piano and were settling in for a new five-year plan. We’d stay there until our two boys were in school and then move on. Unfortunately, God had different plans.

In May we found out that Amber was pregnant with our third child. This was a bit of a surprise, but only a few months ahead of our plan. The spring brought many opportunities for church work as I sent out more than a dozen resumes over a month’s time.

We took a vacation to Winnipeg for over two weeks in June. When we left for Calgary two years earlier, we had promised ourselves that we wouldn't be making that 14 hour trip again, but as we've come to learn, nothing is forever and we cannot plan on anything. My June blog entries seemed to be focused on sleep and Star Wars.

We ended up accepting a bi-vocational position in beautiful Nakusp, BC in July to start in September. I was able to lead worship at the small Alliance church and work 4 days a week at a lumber mill making fence posts and rails. We had a new 10-year plan. We’d stay until Daniel was about 13 and then decide if we want to move on to a bigger centre. After about a week at the mill I developed a severe allergy to the cedar dust and ended up in emergency. I spent a lot of time in this small town hospital and the doctor advised me to quit my job.

We celebrated Josh and Amber’s birthday as well as Thanksgiving while we were there, but ended up moving back to Calgary in the middle of November – to house number four of 2005. It was so nice being able to spend time with Amber and the boys. It was somewhat stressful not having a job, but God was good and He provided in His own way.

We had a nice housewarming party and a birthday party for my brother in December. It gave us a chance to have a bunch of our family and friends over in a few days. Christmas was a busy weekend with a steady stream of people coming through our house, but it was great.

Now we’re back in Calgary. I have started a new job with a great company that offers me plenty of opportunities for growth and advancement. We are renting a duplex with a huge basement, and enough room to host several large family gatherings in the last few weeks. The boys are happy, sleeping better, and are acting like normal boys.

I'd like to say we have a multi-year plan, but I'm scared to even buy green bananas these days. Opportunities are still open for change and by next Christmas we may have moved 8 more times, or (hopefully) we will be settled and enjoying life teh way it is for a while.

Happy New Year and God Bless You from
Jon, Amber, Daniel, Josh, and baby mcbean

Mardi Gras in December

Our two boys are still having a hard time understanding girls. We had some friends over for dinner this week. They have 2 girls, one a few months older than Daniel and the other a little younger than Josh.

They are definitely a strange breed to our boys. With all their long pullable hair and pretty outfits, the boys were fascinated. They tried to play with them the way they do with their boy buddies, but apparently little girls don't like smashing cars and running into walls.

The one thing they have in common though is a need to get out of their clothes. After dinner, the younger girl was in the living room with the boys and she had pulled her shirt off. I went in to help this 20-month-old redress herself and Daniel and Josh both started yelling, "Nipples! Nipples! And boobies! Boobies and Nipples!"

I tried to tell them not to say that. But Daniel asked a very good question, "Is nipples a bad word?" I couldn't come up with an answer that made sense to me and to him. What do you say to something like that?

Security Guard

The other day, I left for work at 7:00am, as I have been doing for the last month. Amber was awake, but still in bed and the boys were sleeping.

Daniel woke up and heard me closing the door. Our three-year-old security guard got out of his bed in his pajamas and walked down the hall, down the stairs to the front door. He unlocked and opened it and looked outside.

He then came down the hall to our room and told Amber, "I thought I heard someone outside, so I went to go see who it was. There isn't anybody there."

The best part is that he left the door open.

Christmas Thoughts

I’ve been so sporadic in my blogging, I thought I’d put together some of my random thoughts and observations from the last few days. Amber will have pictures posted on Yahoo – check her blog for a link.

Christmas Eve was a very busy day – two church services and a family dinner, followed by presents and a bit of fight to get two little guys to bed.

A 18-month old girl will be totally overwhelmed, frightened, and at the same time fascinated by five older boys – all under 6 years old.

Apparently the job of McInnis Clan Chief has been open for hundreds of years – my Dad has decided to apply and try to get the ancestral castle.

We got our latest custom art piece on Saturday. A pencil drawing of Josh to go with the matching one of Daniel. Soooo cute.

Josh loves our neighbours’ big dog on the other side of the fence. Every time we go outside he goes and yells, “Hi Kudo! Good morning Kudo! Merry Christmas Kudo!” He also loves Grandma and Grandpa’s little Bijou. However, he was quite frightened of the little Bichon Frise that joined us for our Christmas Eve dinner.

We had family coming over at 7:30 Christmas morning to open presents, but the boys slept through the night and we had to wake them up at 7:20.

Daniel got a huge stuffed polar bear that was “wrapped” in a white garbage bag. He ripped a little hole and saw the long white hair and called out, “Bijou!” When we told him it wasn’t Bijou he was confused but kept ripping. The way it was stuffed in the bag and the way he was ripping caused the bear to kind of jump out of the bag. Daniel screamed and ran to hide behind Grandma. I don’t know what trauma he’s been through that had led him to believe we would stuff a vicious live animal in a bag and give it to him for a present.

The boys got pretty blue and gold Chinese pajamas that they changed into early Christmas morning. They lasted almost 6 hours. Josh laid down for a nap after lunch and when he woke up the crotch was shredded from knee to knee. Polyester doesn’t stretch as well as his normal comfy cotton pajamas.

The boys got a pink Dora tent, green high heels, and a blue feather boa.

Daniel ate about 5 pounds of candy Christmas morning, but still managed to do very well with his turkey, jello salad, and broccoli for supper

Josh ate marshmallows.

Going to the zoo on Boxing Day was a great idea. There were very few people and the boys could run.

Josh is afraid of imaginary bugs or snakes or something. We were at the zoo in the tropical rainforest area. The first time was hilarious when he pointed at nothing and screamed and grabbed Amber’s leg. She jumped just as much as him. It got weird when he kept doing it though.

This was our first Christmas in our own place since we got married almost 7 years ago. Loved it.

Friday's Feast

Well, at least this gives me something to write every week. Not terribly parenty, but my life is mixed up right now, and I'll hopefully start posting again soon.

Appetizer
When was the last time you did something you would consider courteous, what was it, and who was it for?

I actually had to look up "courteous" at dictionary.com. (exhibiting courtesy and politeness; "a nice gesture"). It's one of those words that seems to have lost meaning in society. Like pH-balanced. Okay, enough stalling. Josh and I bought some chocolates from a hockey team raising money at Wal-Mart this morning. Does that count?

Salad
If you were to have a painting done of you alone, what would you want the background to be?

Hmmm. I did the pose a couple weeks ago. Background... One of the best things about the time we spent in BC was the mountains. I think I'd like mountains in the background, but through a big picture window. I'm imagining a big open room with a fantastic view of snow-covered mountains. I love the view, but I'm totally an indoors kind of guy.

Soup
Describe your voice.

Rather high. Annoyingly so on recordings.

Main Course
What is something you would like to do, but you're afraid of the risk(s)?

Now that's a main course question. I'd like to commit to something. My life has been a series of changes and moves over the past 10 years, with Amber being the only contant. I'd love to commit to a job and a house and a future plan. Oh, how I want that. But I guess I'm afraid I'd be missing something.

Dessert
What was the last television show you watched?

We just caught the last 30 seconds of the Oilers game after watching a movie. The last thing I watched straight through would have been our Thursday night reality TV ritual of Survivor and The Apprentice.

Laments

Well, I guess I'm up so I should write something to get these frustrations off my heart.

Everyone is sick right now. Amber was up all night coughing and aching and being pregnant. Josh and Daniel each woke up throwing up early this morning. I guess I'm the only one who is feeling okay.

I was supposed to work today and tomorrow, and then start a new job on Monday. I hope everyone's better by then.

Our plumbing is a mess in this new house. Our 8 month old dryer seems to have not survived the trips through the mountains, so we can't do laundry until Monday when the repair guy comes. Our landlord replaced the bathtub in our only bathroom but is doing the work himself and can only come over after work, so it's been 12 days and the tub is still unusable. Oh, and it appears that the people who were here before us must have tried to stuff a sheet of drywall down the bathroom sink because it's now backed up and if I try to plunge it, little rotten bits of gyprock and plaster come out. Fantastic.

But God is still good. And I will praise him always. My Saviour and my Lord.

Friday's Feast

Appetizer
What did you look like when you were a teenager?

Really dorky. In grade 9 I had glasses with blue plastic frames. I got pounded a whole lot in junior high. :(

Salad
Whose advice do you listen to?

Amber. For sure. I listen to a lot of other people, but I don't know if I consistently take anyone else's advice.

Soup
Name a book you would like to memorize.

The Bible. Man, that would come in handy ALL THE TIME. I should really make more of an effort to memorize even small parts of it.

Main Course
How often are you sick?

I'm not sick much at all. I often get a cold in January after the business of Christmas, but not usually too serious. I also apparently get very sick very often when I'm around cedar dust.

For more sick stuff, see my next post.

Dessert
Do you like or dislike change?

I thought the dessert question was supposed to be more of an easy one. I guess I like change more than dislike it. For someone that has moved 11 times in the past 7 years (4 times between Valentine's and Halloween this year), I have to like change or I'd go insane.

Predicting the Future

My two boys have both been exhibiting behaviour lately that I think gives us a glimpse into how they will be around the new baby in 11 weeks.

===

Josh has become even more of a velcro-baby than he was when he was just weeks old. He has started clinging to Amber and cries and pouts quite a bit. The last few nights he's come into our bed around 1:00 AM and rolled around and kicked us until the morning. Last night he came into our room and I put up with about 3 minutes of this and decided it was time for a change.

I took him back to his bed and tried to put him down. I lay beside him for a few seconds but he's screaming and kicking and pointing at my room yelling, "This way! This way! NO!! This way!!"

This eventually wakes up Daniel (who's sharing a room with him again) and he covers his ears with his pillow and yells back, "Too loud!"

So, I take Josh back to our room and set him up on the floor with a big body pillow as a mattress and his pillow and blanket. This just aggravated him even more. So, for the next hour or so, I had a two year old screaming in my face and trying to climb up on my bed. Man, it's tough being tough. He eventually wore himself out and fell asleep.

I was pretty happy, but a few hours later, I hear a soft, sweet voice next to my ear say, "Daddy? Help up please?" He'd had a very rough night and I think he learned his lesson, so I pulled him up and cuddled him to sleep - no kicking.

This would have just been a fairly normal night, barely worthy of comment, but then we had naptime.

Amber put Josh down in his own bed this afternoon for a nap. He seemed to be cuddled up "nice and cozy" and ready for a few hours of dreamytime under his Nemo blanket. Amber went into the spare room next to his to do some computer work while Daniel and I were down the hall watching TV or something.

I came down a while later to see how the naptime was going and peeked in. I couldn't see Josh. I went to ask Amber, "Where's Joshie?"

"In his bed."

I go and take a better look in his room. "Nope, not in his bed or Daniel's."

We both have the same idea and go to our room. We crack the door open a bit and see a little turkey sleeping quietly on our bed. What's it going to take to keep him in his own bed?

===

Daniel's story is short but just as telling.

Yesterday we were trying to set up our bedroom and found that we had room for the bassinet. We set it up in the corner and it fit just perfectly. Daniel came in and said, "Is that the baby's bed? Is that the baby's crib? The blue and white crib with polka-dots?"

"Yes it is."

Later that day he came to me and said, "Daddy, I gave the baby all my toys to share." We peeked in the bassinet and he had put in his pillow and flashlight and his blue bedtime bear - all his favorite things, his most necessary bedtime stuff.

It seems like Daniel is going to do very well with the new baby. He's great at sharing. He's so loving and caring and thoughtful.

Josh, on the other hand may be the jealous, regressive type. I can imagine him trying to jump up on Amber's lap when she's holding or feeding the new little one.

We'll see how this works out

Friday's Feast

Appetizer
If someone made a statue of you, in which pose would you like to be?

I would like it to be like this: \o/
But if the sculptor was around lately it would be more like o-<-<

Salad
What perfume/cologne does your best friend wear?

I think Amber sometimes wears Imari something from Avon. Very nice.

Soup
Name something satisfying about your work.

Hahahahaha! No, seriously. Well, I guess I'm a stay-at-home dad now, so every day has satisfying moments. I love it when the boys learn new things.

Main Course
What was the last excuse you made, and why did you need to make it?

I tried to make an excuse to get out of getting help for our move from strangers. I don't know why I didn't want them, but I was cranky and my excuse was something like, "Our house is going to be full and we won't have anywhere for people to sleep and we don't need... Aaaaarrgh!"

Dessert
Complete this sentence: I wonder why _________________.

I wonder why God keeps leading us around the country.

Friday's Feast

Appetizer
What was the last game you purchased?

Star Wars Risk - for my brother-in-law's birthday in the hope I would get to play it with him. Now that we are going to live in the same city again, maybe I can. :)

Soup
Name something in which you don't believe.

Horoscopes

Salad
If you could choose a television personality to be your boss, who would you pick?

Steve Dotto. A jolly Canadian computer tech expert. He just looks like a fun guy to work with. I bet the Christmas parties are a blast.

Main Course
What was a lesson you had to learn the hard way?

I apparently don't like living in a small town.

Dessert
Describe your idea of the perfect relaxation room.

Big comfy couch. Nice warm blanket. Nice big cold Coke. Big TV. And a DVD player that holds all 6 Lord of the Rings discs.

Prayers

4 posts in one day? I must be unemployed or something. ;)

I've had the chance to put Josh to bed a few nights this week. Usually Amber and I split up at bedtime and I do Daniel and she takes care of Josh, but I think it's a good idea to switch it up sometimes.

Josh is such the pray-er. He loves to thank God for everything. He always remembers his grandparents' puppy, Bijou. Josh loves Bijou and loves giving him cookies. While we were visiting Josh started giving him hugs and letting Bijou kiss his hands.

Anyway, this was quite the long intro for one of his recent prayers:

"Dear God. Thank you today. Thank you Daniel. And Mommy. And Grandma, Grandpa, Bijou kisses. And for Bijou cookies. And Bijou's Grandpa. And my Grandpa. And Bijou kisses and grandpa. And umm... Bijou cookies... and ummm...."

"Thank you for Daddy?"

"Yeah, thank you Daddy, Mommy, Daniel, Bijou cookies"

"In Jesus' name"

"Amen"

I wish my prayers could be like that more often. Just an open connection with God to share all the exciting things in my life. I learn so much from the boys.

Dwell in the Father

A couple of great reminders from God this early morning:

Psalm 91

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
  will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD,
  "He is my refuge and my fortress,
  my God, in whom I trust."

If you make the Most High your dwelling—
   even the LORD, who is my refuge-
   then no harm will befall you,
   no disaster will come near your tent.

"Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
   I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
   I will be with him in trouble,
   I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life will I satisfy him
   and show him my salvation."

=============

Matthew 6:25-34

I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

What Daniel Likes

I seem to write more about Daniel than Josh. Maybe that's because I spend more time with him. Josh has sort of become Mommy's boy and Daniel is mine. Maybe as he grows up a little more and when the baby comes, he'll come over to the "boys' side" ;) I'll try to think of a Josh story to tell next time.

Anyway, I was putting Daniel to bed last night and I asked, "Are you having a good time in Calgary? Do you like visiting Grandma and Grandpa's?"

"Yeah, I like Calgary. And Nakusp too."

Grrr... The first time he says he likes Nakusp is the day we are looking for a house to move back to Calgary to. "What do you like about Nakusp?"

"Our TV, and our movies, and my Madagascar bed..."

"What about things that aren't in our house?"

"Ummm... our couches, and our big black chair"

"No, what do you like about Nakusp that ISN'T our house?"

"Hmmm... our van? My sandbox?"

"What do you like to do in Nakusp? Where do you like to go?"

"Ummm... I like to go... I like to go to visit Calgary."

"Okay, sweetie. Have a good sleep."

I don't know what to think of that. Either he couldn't understand the question, or he doesn't like anything about Nakusp on its own. Or, possibly and perhaps more frighteningly, he sensed that he shouldn't have said he likes Nakusp and was trying to backpedal. This kid is so mature at times, I wouldn't be totally surprised if that was part of it.

Abandoned

We are in Calgary visiting and making preparations to move back. All this change is really getting to Daniel. We were out driving around looking for a house quite a bit yesterday. As we were on our way back to the place we were staying the boys were getting quite rowdy. Screaming like little girls rowdy. I became the father I didn't want to be and yelled,

"Do you want me to stop and you can get out and walk the rest of the way to Grandma's"

Poor Daniel, who is already a bit clingy, tried to process this idea along with other things we've told him about running off on his own and going into the street.

"Then you and Mom and Josh will drive to Grandma's? And I will have no family? And then I'll get hurted in the street? And runned over from the cars? And then I'll get all bleedy?"

Oh my! I'm glad we were only a block from Grandma's because I could barely contain myself enough to drive. I look over at Amber and her heart is breaking just the same.

"No, buddy. I would never leave you. I would never put you in the street by yourself. You will always have your family. Just please stop screaming."

Hopefully one of these days our lives will get settled and normal. I won't hold my breath.

An extra hour

I think this is the first time in my life that I've missed the daylight-savings change. The Fall-Back one is such a great bonus, I usually go around and change all the clocks before bedtime.

I guess living in a small town, they either don't care or maybe they have a phoning list. I didn't see it in the paper (which only comes out weekly) or hear it on the radio (which is CBC One reruns). I didn't notice until I got up with the boys to get ready for church and my handy-dandy faithful computer told me that it was 6:00 and not 7:00.

Now, what to do with an extra hour... I guess I'll use it to pack the van. We're making another trip out to Calgary this week and we're leaving right after church. So, I guess this means it will be an hour darker when we get there. Sigh, I guess good news only lasts for about 5 minutes around here.

Jon needs

Well, the latest thing going around in the blogosphere is googling your needs. I typed "Jon needs" into Google and it was interesting to find I need so many things. I am seriously not making any of these up. These are all found in the first 40 webpages (of over 600) that Google pulled up with the phrase "Jon needs".

Jon needs Help
Jon needs a new name!
Jon needs to change his classroom management practices
Jon needs to be more introspective about his teaching style
Jon needs to hold a mirror up
Jon needs to answer some questions.
That is what Jon needs to be telling us now.
Jon needs to unwind the wire from the chicken coop
Jon needs to move on
Jon needs to realize it for himself. I'm attracted to another man
Jon needs experienced adoptive parents
Jon needs a consequence for misbehavior
Jon needs to be a member of the Administrator's group
Jon Needs to Touch his Roots
Jon needs to learn how to spell "allowed" before he ridicules other people's work
The Jon needs to release and share his information.
Jon needs lots of support on the home front and elsewhere
Jon needs change for the bus
Jon needs a break today... a coffee break
Jon needs everyone's thoughts
Jon needs to learn that his actions can ultimately destroy the very cause he seeks to protect
Jon needs someone 1 on 1 most of the time.
Jon needs to be put in prison and locked up for life.
Jon needs a wider forum?
Jon needs the extra mic and stand for his 2nd banjo.
Jon needs a real paint sample from Shannon.
Jon needs to eat anything!
Jon needs help to implement this Certificate proposal
Jon needs to write proposal by December
Jon needs something cute to wear besides those homemaker dresses.
But that's not what Jon needs right now; he needs someone to talk to.

I swear these are all true. Well, not true for me - but true cut-and-pastes from the internet. I like the one that calls me "The Jon".

I love Google. Even on a day like this, when everything is messed up and I don't know what's coming next, it can make me smile. And that's really what Jon needs.

What's Up?

It's been quite a while since I posted. Our lives are in a big time of transition and we don't know from day to day what's coming next. We've tried to shelter our little ones from this but Daniel seems to be picking things up.

He seems to be extra clingy and kind of sad lately. He has been talking about Calgary and the "big orange truck" quite a bit lately. (See Amber's blog for details.) Last night I tucked him into bed and cuddled with him for a bit. A few hours later I went to check on him before heading to bed myself. He wasn't there. I checked Josh's room - he had been talking about sleeping with Josh earlier - but he wasn't there. The little monkey had quietly snuck down the hall while we were in the living room and curled up in the middle of our bed and fallen asleep waiting for us.

The only thing that gets me through this is the fact that I remember nearly nothing of my life before I was like 7. This may seem like a big deal to him now, but if we can get settled in the next couple years, hopefully it won't scar him for life.

Daniel the Comforter

I've discovered that Daniel has more empathy than I do. Two recent examples.

1) I was laying on the couch, watching TV. I wasn't feeling great - still recovering from my cedar sickness. Daniel came over and hopped up and gave me a hug and a kiss and asked, "Do you need anything? Any medicines?"

"No, sweetie. That's very nice of you though."

"I'm supposed to be a doctor when I get big. Then I will take care of everybody."

2) This morning, Daniel woke up before anyone and dragged me out to help him get some breakfast. I gave him a bowl of cereal and when he was done, he went to play on the computer for a bit. I was (again) resting on the couch and Josh woke up. They had this conversation:

J: "Hi, Daniel!"

D: "Good morning Joshie! Did you have a good sleep? Oh, you still have your soother. I'll put that away for you."

J: "Uhh.. uhh.. umm.." starting to get upset

D: Returning from Josh's room, "Oh, don't cry. Are you sad cause you miss your soother?"

J: "Sniff, yeah"

D: Patting him on the head, "Oh, you are growing to such a big boy."

This is my three year old. He's such a big boy too.

Josh the Shovel

We went for our usual Saturday morning trip to the little farmers' market here in town this weekend. The farmers and products are starting to get few and far between now that the days are getting cooler and wetter. We didn't find anything to buy, so we kept on going til we got to the park.

Man, the boys love the park. It's an old Kinsmen-built park that reminds me of the Kinsmen park in the small Saskatchewan town where I grew up. The same steel swings, teeter-totters and tall slides. Even the old merry-go-round.

There is a swing set with three steel horses. These are obviously for the little ones, but the horses are over 3 feet from the ground. Kinda scary, but Josh loved it. "Yee-Ha! Cowboy! Yee-Ha! Cowboy!"

Well, we had been there close to an hour and we were on our way out. The boys were playing on the one modern play structure with a variety of slides and tubes in a sandy gravel pit. I helped Daniel slide down one of the tubes on his tummy and he flipped over and came out feet first. Of course, Joshie has to do everything his brother does.

The thing is that Josh always slides way faster than Daniel. He doesn't plant his shoes on the sides for brakes like his bigger brother. I put him in on his tummy and ran around to catch him at the bottom. He flew down like a torpedo and dove out face first into the sand. I picked him up and wiped him off. The guy wasn't even crying. Then he started spitting and wiping his tongue. His mouth and nose were full of sand. He had hit the dirt and plowed a good sized furrough.

We got him mostly cleaned out and headed back towards home to get him some juice to rinse his mouth and I heard a grinding and crunching. He was chewing on the last bit of sand in his mouth to get it out of his teeth. But still not even a hint of crying. He really would make a great yee-ha cowboy.

Holy %$#@!

This post has been rated PG for language

We were outside this afternoon before supper. I was barbecuing, the boys were running around and Amber was trying to organize some of our larger yard toys so the yard is more usable. Daniel comes around the corner saying, "Mommy needs you."

So I come and she's standing over our uninflated inflatable wading pool and said, shockingly calmly, "There are stinkbugs all over the shed, the sprinkler is covered with slugs, and I found a tarantula." Well, Amber despises bugs and has a tendency to overreact and exaggerate when she sees them. I've been called to take care of "tarantulas" before that were just fairly big brown house spiders. I came over, expecting to see a somewhat large bug.

In the rain water collected in the corner of the rubber pool there was a spider. It was completely underwater and not moving, but its body was a light green, and it looked like a very large peeled grape with long, thick, hairy legs. Seriously, if this bug was on Survivor, the castaways would have sat down with a carving knife, hats with buckles, and given thanks for such a bountiful feast.

In my surprise, I blurted out, "Holy crap!" before I realized that Daniel had followed me and was standing right behind me, almost attached to my leg. He of course saw the bug and with perfect pronunciation, inflection, and emotion, repeated my exclamation in a somewhat higher octave.

Amber says, "Daniel, don't say that." He does again.

I've heard stories of small children who learn to swear and when the adults laugh, they are encouraged to do it again and again, in increasingly more inappropriate places and situations.

I calmly turn and say "Daniel, that's not a nice word. You shouldn't say that."

And he didn't. Maybe he got distracted by something else. Maybe he's saving it for a better time. But maybe he understood and will try not to say bad words. He hears everything we say and stores it away to bring out later. I hope I can fill him with more good things than bad from now on.

Cold Turkey

Daniel had one of his hardest nights ever tonight. He's had a soother every night since he was born. Well, almost every night. Once, when he was a few months old we decided to let him cry himself to sleep. He cried hard after we put him to bed for about half an hour, then fell asleep. We felt so bad when we went in to get him in the morning and his soother was on the dresser - we'd somehow forgotten to give it to him on this traumatic night. But that's a totally different story.

Anyways, Amber and I have decided that it's getting to be about time for him to give up the soother. He's three years old and we don't want him to be one of those 6 year olds with a pacifier at the mall. Daniel and I had a conversation earlier in the day and worked out a "deal". After some negotiation we decided that if he could sleep a whole night without his soother, he could have 4 little candies the next day. Yeah, I know bribing him with morning sugar isn't the best thing, but oh well. It worked with potty training, we'll give it a shot.

So, we talked about it a few times over the day and Daniel seemed very excited at the prospect of candies. When he went to bed, we didn't get his soother. We read stories for a while and then he went to brush his teeth and get one more kiss from Mommy. On the way back, he asked for his soother.

"Remember the deal? Did you want to try to go without it tonight?"

"Yeah! Then I get jujubes."

So, I lay down with him for a while. He rolled around and was more antsy than normal. Finally, he turned to me and said, "I can't fall asleep."

"Do you want me to get your soother?"

"Yeah, no, yeah, no... ummm..."

"I'll go get it and you can decide."

So I went and brought it and he didn't want it so I held it. He played with it in my hand for a bit, closing my fingers around it. He'd roll away and then back and feel for it again.

Once, he took the soother and put it up to his lips and looked at me. I felt so bad for him. This was so hard but he wanted to do it.

"It's okay buddy. You can have it if you need it. We can try again tomorrow."

He started crying hard and gave it back to me. Put it in my hand and rolled away. His hand kept feeling for it but he still couldn't fall asleep.

"Do you want me to put it away so you don't have to think about it?"

"Yeah"

So, I stuck it in my pocket and he calmed down for a bit and then started rolling around in his bed again. Kind of nervously. He told me there were monsters in his closet and under his bed. We checked and found no monsters. He was kind of jittery. It's like he was going through de-tox but his will was so strong.

Finally, he was fishing around in the bed. I asked what he was looking for.

Smiling innocently he said, "Something blue..."

"Is it this?" I took out the soother. He smiled and took it. He rolled over towards the wall and fell asleep. Poor guy, he tried so hard. Tomorrow will be easier.

I guess I fell asleep too, cause Amber came in and woke me up some time later. I peeked over at Daniel before I left. He was still facing the wall. The soother was on the bed by his open hand. He didn't suck on it, he just needed to hold it. I snuck it away and counted this as a marvelous success. I think it counts.

Daniel has always been this way. Sleeping through the night, eating solid food, walking, potty training - all the same way. When he felt he was ready, he just did it. No messing around. No taking his time. He is such a determined little guy. I'm so proud.

Not so much

I hate to say it, but this job isn't so much fun anymore. I've been sick every day since I started. I came home from work yesterday hacking and coughing so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye and threw up at home. My eyes have started feeling like I have sandpaper under my lids and my forearms and neck are starting to get a rash. I also have been stuffed up and coughing at night so it's hard to sleep.

It started off pretty light so I thought it was just a cold, but this morning I went to the hospital and the doctor says it's a combination of bronchitis and likely a cedar allergy. He gave me a prescription for some antibiotics and antihistamines. I'll take them for the next few weeks and see how that works. I'll try wearing long-sleeved shirts and a mask at work on Monday too.

I can't even start to think about the idea that I am allergic to my job. I moved my family 8 hours from everyone we know and love to the middle of nowhere and now I may not be able to go to work. The church has really stepped out in faith to bring me here and I bet they are wondering what they got themselves into.

Speaking of the church, it's taking a while to get going too. I have led worship by myself the last 2 weeks and it looks like I'll be on my own again this weekend. I really wanted to put together a repertoire and a band, but all I've been able to do when I get home from work is cough and fall asleep. Hopefully next week will be more productive.

A friend of mine often signs off her blogs with the word "einop" for "ever in need of prayer". I am so einop right now. I know that most of our friends and family who are reading this are Christians and likely praying for us occasionally, but if you think of me, I could use some prayer for guidance in this time of confusion and change for our family. I may need to find a new job or a new way to do this job and that freaks me out.

I know this isn't really a "Dad's view" post, but it's what's on my mind, so that's what you get. We'll return you to your regularly scheduled cute kid stories shortly.

Phew!

I just completed my first day of work at the mill and I am exhausted. I worked 8 hours working with an air nailer and stapler (my brothers must be so proud). I get to make, package and wrap big skids of fence parts for most of the day. I actually got to stack big pieces of wood for the last hour. I came home with a pretty nasty looking cut on my forehead from the first 2x4 I touched that fell and split me open.

I am beat and sore, but I definitely thank God for this job. It is real work that will help me get in shape. It is so loud that everyone wears earplugs, so there's not a lot of talking - except during breaks - so I have time alone with my thoughts and can pray as much as I want. Working with wood makes me feel closer to Jesus than sitting in front of a laptop ever could.

And there's not much better after a hard day's work than hugs from my family. Amber and Daniel and Josh all came running when I got home. That made everything melt away.

Please excuse any weird grammar or spelling. I just wanted to get this down.

Forever

Well, we've finally moved. You can see Amber's blog for details about the move.

The boys are growing up so fast. Sometimes it feels like I'm gonna blink and it will all be over. I was putting Daniel to bed tonight after a long, but good day. I was reading him some poems from a Shel Silverstein book while cuddled up with him in his twin bed. I didn't want to stop. I didn't want that moment to stop.

We talked about our day and I gave him a kiss good night. He asked me to lay with him for "just a little bit" - as he's done every night since we moved here. I laid with him for a while and was about to get up and he said, "No Daddy, don't go yet."

"I have to go buddy. I have to go help mommy."

"No, stay for a little bit longer"

"I wish I could stay here with you forever."

With childlike wonder, "Forever?"

"Yeah, buddy. I'd love to stay here with you but I have to go. I'll see you in the morning. Maybe you could have a dream about me."

"Yeah, I could do that"

"Okay, I'll see you in your dreams. Good night."

It's moments like this that I'm glad I have. Once I start my new job, I'll be leaving around 6:45am four days a week so the evenings will be even more precious.

Boy, I sure love my boys.

First Date

Yesterday was Family Day. Perhaps our last real Thursday Family Day before we move, so we wanted to do something special. Amber suggested taking the boys to a movie. This idea frightened me quite a bit. The last time we tried anything like this was when we took Daniel to a hockey game when he was about 6 months old, and the last time we went out to a "sit-down restaurant" Josh threw a fit and a glass bottle of juice across the room.

We decided on "Madagascar". Daniel had been seeing the commercials all summer and seemed pretty excited by it. We told both of them we were going to the movie theatre with a huge TV and popcorn and everything, but I'm pretty sure Daniel was thinking it was going to be like Blockbuster.

The boys were good all morning. No crying, no temper tantrums - well, almost none. We got to the movie theatre and as we were walking up, we saw a school bus full of 9-year olds pull up. We rushed in to get in line before them and bought our tickets. The boys both got in free - BONUS!

Then we went to the concession to get our snacks. There were no customers there until we got in line. As I ordered our popcorn and drinks, I had this creepy feeling that I was being watched. I turn around and see an endless sea of little heads with a couple of frazzled-looking leaders trying to get the kids into Coke and non-Coke lines. As I pick up our food, I hear the head wrangler say, "OK, I need 27 Kiddie Combos, 13 with Coke, 5 with..." Poor popcorn dude didn't know what hit him.

By this point Daniel is in sensory overload. He's running from the candy dispensers to the arcade games and back to the lighted posters. Amber and I are weighed down with 3 arm loads of refreshments and a wiggly 22-month old and our loud commands of "Daniel! Red stop!" are making as much of an effect as a bicycle cop in a war zone. I finally get him herded towards the right door. He helps by grabbing a couple booster seats and we head in.

We are the first people in the theatre. Maybe this will be good. Maybe it will just be us. Maybe the pre-teen mob will go see "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". We climb the mountain of stadium-like seating to the summit so we can sit right at the back. (When we were at the hockey game almost 3 years ago we were also in the Mt. Everest of nosebleed seats.) We got the boys set up with their boosters and their little boxes of popcorn. Josh was transfixed. He quickly figured out how to lay back in his chair and watch the ads while absent-mindedly popping popcorn into his mouth and sipping on his juice without looking away.

We realized that unfortunately we were about 20 minutes early. The boys have a hard time focusing on anything other than Veggie Tales for more than 20 minutes, so I took Daniel to the bathroom to give him a little change of scenery, and to avoid any need to get up during the movie. As we were leaving we saw a neon swarm entering the theatre doors. It was a day camp and the leaders and 15 or so preschoolers were all wearing matching yellow shirts (so cute!). This actually made me feel quite a bit better. These adults were outnumbered about 5-7 to 1 and their kids weren't much older than Daniel, so I figured we'd not be the only ones there with sugar-crazed movie viewers.

When we got back, we still had about 15 minutes, so I took Daniel for a walk around the theatre. This was one of the new style theatres with the very steep seating arrangements so you don't have to watch the movie between two heads. We tried out the front row - "That's the biggest TV I've ever seen!" and then kept on moving and we climbed back to the top where Josh was still munching away on his snacks, transfixed by the ads for candy bigger than his house.

The Yellow Pages Daycamp sat a few rows down from us and by the time the show started, only a few other people had come in. I guess the 27 Kiddie Combos went somewhere else. The lights went down and the boys loved it. After about 15 more minutes of ads (our 86 minute experiment is quickly turning into a 2 hour adventure), the movie started. When the Dreamworks studio logo came on, Josh broke his trance and called out "Shrek!"

About 30 minutes in, Daniel decided he had to pee again. Amber took him but no luck. All was good for about another half an hour. Josh and I were eating from his little popcorn box, regularly refilled from Mommy's large bag and I was sipping away on my BladderBuster large Coke. I was actually happy to take Daniel to the bathroom at the one hour mark. We both needed it pretty bad.

They made it to the end of the movie. Josh moved from his booster onto a couple laps for a while. He was actually dancing in the aisle during the credits. He yelled "Bye movie!" when we left, and the two boys fell asleep in the car on the way home.

I was incredibly and pleasantly surprised at how well this went. It looks like there's a theatre in Nakusp. Maybe we'll try this again some time.

Phew!

Everyone is fine. Amber's blood pressure came down and the ultra-sound tech found our baby in perfect health. Now we just need to get ready to move in 17 days! Aaaargh!

Please let them be okay

I took Amber in for her 15 week appointment yesterday. It should be our last time seeing the doctor before we move. Unfortunately, things are not going well.

The doctor couldn't find the baby's heartbeat, Amber's blood pressure is up where it was when Daniel was born, she's having headaches, back problems, nausea, and a variety of other problems.

Dr. gave Amber a requisition for an ulrasound and told her to stop by the lab to see if they could get her in today. When we got there, the cow at the counter told her that she couldn't make an appointment, she couldn't get in that day, and she had to call some "Bookings" number.

Well, we went home upset, frustrated, and a little scared. Amber is going in this afternoon for the ultrasound. I'm way more scared than I let on. This move is very stressful for all of us and I don't want the pressure to hury Amber or the baby. I'm trying to help out as much as I can, but if Amber gets put on bedrest because of the blood pressure, I don't know what we'll do. I can quit a couple weeks early, but someone is moving into our apartment in 19 days, so we need to get out. And once we get to Nakusp, I have a couple days off, but then Amber will be all alone with 2.5 clingy, needy kids.

I just pray that everyone will be okay. That the baby is fine. That Amber will get better. That the boys will be more calm and easier for her. That everything will be alright.

Now I wait.

Daniel's Sad Ice Cream Cone Story

This is another one of those "break your heart" moments where I realize that my boys are growing up.

Tonight Amber has a "girls' night out" with the ladies from our Bible study. It may be the last time she gets to hang out with them as a group before we move, so it was pretty important that she went.

The boys and I drove her to meet the girls and on the way home we were singing together in the car. I remembered a song my Grandma used to sing to me and without thinking I decided to sing it for the boys.

"Daniel, Josh, do you guys want to hear a new song? This is a song that Daddy's grandma used to sing to him when he was a little boy."

Here it is:

==========================

Chocolate Ice Cream Cone
Author Unknown

My mama said if I'd be good,
She'd send me to the store
She said she'd bake some gingerbread
If I would sweep the floor.

She said if I would make the bed
And watch the telephone
That she would send me out to get
A chocolate ice cream cone.

And so I did the things she said
And then she made me some gingerbread
Then I went out, just me alone
And got my chocolate ice cream cone.

While coming back I stubbed my toe
Upon a big old stone
Now need I tell you that I dropped
My chocolate ice cream cone.

A little puppy came along
And he took a great big lick
And so I hit that mean old dog
With just a little stick.

Then he bit me where I sit down
And he chased me all over town
So, now I'm lost, I can't find my home
And all because of that chocolate ice cream cone

==========================

Now, I know this is a sad song and I've often wondered why my Grandma would sing this song to her kids and grandkids, but she sang about dogs who died, orphans, and mean old neighbourhood men getting stuffed in a meat grinder, so this one seemed pretty tame and safe.

As soon as I was finished, Daniel said, "Daddy, that's so sad!"

"What's sad buddy?"

"Umm... when Grandma, when Daddy, when Daddy's grandma, ummm... when I was a little boy, when I was Jon, I went to the store and got a ice cream cone and I dropped it and a puppy licked it."

"Then what happened?"

"I hit him and he chased me."

Awwww... :( The poor guy. I'm amazed that he was able to follow the story and personalize it. He placed himself in the song, but he couldn't verbalize it any way but to say "when I was Jon".

I had to make up a new verse about getting a new ice cream cone and going home to share it with Mommy. Daniel thought that was much happier.

Joshua's Sad Ice Cream Cone Story

In a weird turn of events, each of my boys had a very sad situation involving ice cream cones in the past 36 hours.

Thursday has been family day since we moved back to Calgary. This is something that we started in Winnipeg on my day off from the church and we try not to schedule other things on Family Day so we can spend it together going to the zoo, or the park, or shopping. This week it was 32 degrees outside so we decided to take advantage of the wonderful air conditioned mall playground.

After a good time at the playground we stopped in at the food court for lunch. After lunch, Amber and Daniel went to Dairy Queen to pick up an ice cream cone for us to share. Josh had been asking for one all through lunch so I told him that we were all going to share a yummy ice cream cone.

"Daddy will have some"

"Yup!"

"And Daniel will have some"

"Yup!"

"And Mommy will have some"

"Yup!"

"And Joshie will have some"

"Yes please!"

So when Amber and Daniel came back with the biggest DQ cone I've ever seen, Josh was ecstatic. He was squirming to get out of his high chair. We passed it around and everyone had a little lick. When it was Josh's turn, I held it for him and he started to cry. He wanted to hold it. Well, I was pretty sure if he got his hands on this extra-large ice cream, it would be on the floor. So we ended up fighting for control of the cone.

He put up such a fuss that I let him hold it with my hands real close by to guard against any sudden droppage. When his turn was over and I had to take it away, you'd think I had pulled off a couple fingers with it. He screamed and screamed and cried. I realized that usually when we go for ice cream, the boys each get their own cone and Josh wasn't understanding this whole "sharing" thing. We tried a spoon and a litte dish but that wasn't good enough - this was his ice cream and no one should take it.

When it made its way back to Josh again, he started screaming and pushing my hands away. I tried to calm him down using logic.

"Joshie, do you want the ice cream?"

"YEEEAAAAAAAH! Waaaaah!"

"What do you say?"

"PLEEEEEEEASE!!!!! Waaaaah"

Okay, here you go

Through tears, a hoarse voice, full of emotion says, "Thank you. Gracias."

Well, this put me over the edge. I am laughing out loud at this situation. Josh is going through the worst trauma he could imagine and still managed to remember his manners. In two languages.

The dozens of people around us are all smiling and laughing but I know I need to get the cone away from Josh so Daniel, who has been very patient and accomodating through this whole ordeal, can have his turn. I reach for the cone and with goalie reflexes, Josh bats my hand away. I try again and he grabs my wrist and gives me this "Don't you even think about it" look. I burst out laughing again.

We eventually finish the cone but each time I had to take it away was like a whole new betrayal for Josh.

From now on we'll each get our own.

Toilet Talk

People without little kids don't talk about toilets as much as those of us with babies. I can't say I remember ever having a conversation about poop with one of my friends before Daniel was born. Perhaps this is a good thing.

Daniel is officially potty trained now. He's been wearing "big boy underwear" during the day for months and pull-ups at night. Every morning that he wakes up and his "bed time underwear" is dry, he gets to put a star sticker on the calendar. If he's dry this morning, that means he's completed a whole week of stars, so that means he gets to sleep in his "regular big boy underwear" for the first time tonight. A scary thought but I'm so proud of him. Even if I have to change a few sheets in the next weeks, I'm really proud of him.

Josh is starting to get excited about the potty too. Once a day or more, he will run to us and say, through grunting teeth, "Poop! Potty! Poop!" So, we'll take him to the bathroom and put him down on his little potty. The times he actually goes, he is so proud of himself. Everyone in the house will clap for him and say "Yay Joshie!" and he loves it. I don't think we'll push the full-on potty training until after we move. He'll be two in a few months and once we're settled in our new house, I think he might be ready.

Our little McBean is a hungry little guy too. Amber is constantly eating now. She is normally a very slow eater and doesn't eat much at all, but now she's keeping up to me. She wants the baby to be as healthy as possible, so she's trying to eat good food, drink lots of water, and take her multitude of vitamins. I know he'll be a terrific, wonderful little guy - even if he's a she.

Hi Everybody!

So, people are actually reading this.

It's kind of strange. I started writing this for myself and for Amber, but knowing that we would likely make it public eventually. Now that everyone knows about the whole pregnancy thing, Amber has been telling her friends and linking to me in various websites, forums, boards, and email lists.

Recently I've heard from people I know, and people I don't know (through Amber) that they enjoy my blog and appreciate hearing "A Dad's View" on some of these topics. The strange part is that I've never considered myself a writer. I was always very good in school and loved to read, but English was one of my least favorite (and most skipped) subjects in high school. I actually almost got kicked out of school in my grade 12 year because I stopped going to my English class.

Most of these posts are made in the wee hours of the morning, when I can't sleep. Maybe this adds to the more open and casual nature.

I don't know what's going on, but Blogger has cut the last paragraph of this entry twice now. Maybe it's a sign that 4:30 is no time to be up and I should be going back to bed.

Have to Get Away

Sometimes, no matter how much I love the boys and how wonderful and cute they are, I need to get away.

I know Amber spends far more time with them than I do and probably needs more of a break, but we have really learned to appreciate the weekly break we've been getting. Amber's parents have been taking the boys overnight once a week for nearly a year now. This allowed us to go to choir rehearsal and not have to pick them up at 10 or 11pm. It also gave us a full night of sleep, which made us appreciate our little ones even more when they came back.

Yesterday, I came home from a long, boring day alone at work. I was feeling quite sick and not in the mood for wrestling and yelling. Daniel had been in one of his "bad boy" moods all day and wanted to jump on me the minute I got in the door. We ended up calling Grandma and Grandpa and they took the boys overnight. I went to bed at 9:00 and slept right through until almost 8:00.

We are going to be moving in just over a month. 7 hours from Grandma and Grandpa's house. So, we need to get all the breaks we can now. And both sets of grandparents are happy to get a little more time in with the boys before we leave, so this should make for an interesting next 5 weeks.

We Finally Did It

Last night we took both sets of grandparents out for dinner and shared all of our news. We told them that we had been offered the job we had been waiting on in BC and that we were buying a van. We were trying to think of a clever way to share the news of our growing family

We ordered our food and when it came, I prayed for the meal. I ended the prayer with something like "And keep us all safe over the next months - especially Amber and the baby. In Jesus name, Amen."

They took it okay. I think my mom smacked me and said, "You are so clever."

It's a lot of news at once. It even seems like a lot to me and I've learned it all gradually.

It's going to be exciting and scary moving away from our families and having the baby, but we've done it before. Daniel and Josh were each born in Winnipeg - 14 hours away from the grandparents - and we survived. We have loved being back and having our familes close by and convenient, but we really enjoyed our time on our own in Winnipeg. We grew as a couple and as a family and learned to rely on each other a lot more.

Now I'm starting to tell other people. I told a couple of friends last night. Work is next I guess. I need to tell them that I'll be leaving at the end of the summer. Unfortunately, at this small business with about 15-20 employees, two other full-time staff and three part-time have decided to quit this summer too. I'm torn between giving them lots of notice and trying to wait for the "right time" to tell so as to not go in on the same day as someone else. I guess it should be sooner than later.

When to Tell

We still haven't told anyone about the new baby yet. Therefore, we haven't told anyone about this blog - so it's still just Amber reading it. :)

We are planning on doing it in the next few days. We are waiting for news about a new job opportunity and were hoping to hear by now. We wanted to tell our parents at the same time and also break the news about the new job too. But it's been a longer process than we had imagined and we're getting a little impatient.

Daniel's birthday party is on Sunday and we are thinking about telling the grandparents after that. We've had so many events in our life that might be overshadowed by this news, that the baby might get here before we finally decide to tell.

The grandmothers are starting to act suspicious. Amber's mom has touched her belly and Amber thinks she caught my mom looking at her stomach last weekend. We've been so adamant about not having any more for a while, I think people have stopped asking.

I'm excited about this whole prospect. We've picked out our first set of names for the baby. If history has taught us anything, it's that these names will change several times over the next 7 months, someone will "steal" at least one of them, and 10 minutes before the baby is born, I will be 100% positive that it's going to be a girl. We'll see...

Aaaaaaaaaaargh!

I'm about to freak out. Amber went for a girls' night out with the ladies from our couples Bible study tonight leaving me to put the boys to bed.

We put on a LarryBoy movie and let them relax and I got them into their jammies and Josh's eye drops in. I put him to bed and then stayed up with Daniel about another hour watching TV and reading and stuff. Then we came upstairs to go to bed and Josh was waiting at the gate, so I took both of them to read one more story and put them to bed. It's been about an hour and I've had to go in about 10 times. They just won't stay in bed. Nothing is working.

I don't know what to do with them. Apparently Amber had a really bad day with them - a usual occurence the day after we've spent time apart from them. I'm calming down and realizing it's not that big a deal. I think they are being quiet now so I'm going to go down and relax on the couch. And if I hear anything, I'll pretend I didn't. ;)

Growth and Fluids

It's amazing how fast little kids grow and develop - even over a long weekend.

Amber and I were out in BC on a job interview this weekend and left the boys with the grandparentses. They weren't home Monday morning when I left for work, so I didn't get to see them until I got home. I didn't realize how much I missed them until I got in the door and they both rushed to give me a hug.

Josh seems to have learned a bunch of words and is copying Daniel every chance he can get. Daniel learned about "Knock-knock" jokes from his 3.5 year old cousin in Winnipeg and now he's taught Josh. He's using longer sentences and his pronunciation is so much clearer than even just 4 days ago. He's even starting to exert a little independence and is not quite as clingy as usual.

Daniel has been amazing me lately too. He turned 3 on Wednesday but he acts like he's about 7. We got him a computer game for his birthday and he's figured out how to use it by himself. Mousing, clicking, typing, as well as matching, counting, and problem solving, he does it all. I know what it's like trying to live up to one's "potential", (I hated the p-word growing up) so I won't push him too hard, but he's such a sponge for knowledge we have to keep feeding him.

We're all still pretty sick around here these days. Daniel got a bad cough in Winnipeg that is taking forever to go away. He threw up for the first time in over two years last night at supper before he even had a bite. Josh has an eye infection so he's got all sorts of goop and ooze and as of last night seemed to be starting on the same cough. I've been coughing and stuffy as long as Daniel and I'm not sure how I made it through this candidating weekend. And Amber, of course is feeling 10 weeks pregnant.

So we're all pretty leaky and miserable this week - and my brother's wedding is on Saturday - and I'm performing the ceremony. I should really be trying to get some extra sleep, but thinking about that is what kept me from falling back asleep. It's 6:10 and I've been up since 4:00. I'll go see who's in the family bed and see if I can squeeze in another hour or so.

Maybe I should change the title

I never thought I would be writing about sleep so much. We take it for granted. A friend of mine wrote a great blog article about how beds are God's gift to humanity. I kind of miss sleep, but these early, early mornings seem to be the only time I can get anything done, so maybe that's a gift from God too.

I know Amber wanted to tell the following story in her blog, but I can't wait any longer. Maybe if she also tells the story we can link so you compare our views.

We just got back from our trip across the prairies with 2 toddlers under 3 years old (Tip: buy a portable DVD player and bring all your Veggie Tales movies). We left Wednesday around 6:30 and drove straight for about 3 hours before we stopped at a motel in Medicine Hat for the night. We let the boys jump on the bed and watch a little Treehouse TV to calm down, but they had slept a good portion of the way there and they weren't tired.

We put Josh in a playpen and Daniel on his little sleeping bag/mattress and turned out the lights around 10:30. Motel curtains block out way more light than miniblinds so it wasn't long before Daniel found his way to my side of the bed and said, "Daddy, I'm scared of the dark."

"What are you scared of sweetie?"

"Just the dark"

"Okay, come sleep with Daddy for a while."

About 10 minutes later, his eyes had adjusted a little and I said "It's not so dark anymore is it? You can see the TV and the bathroom door and your bed."

"I'm not scared of the dark anymore!"

This should have been the end of it, but some time later Josh is still rolling around in the playpen and Daniel is trying to get comfortable and I can't fall asleep. I turn to Amber and whisper, "I'm hungry".

This sets off a chain reaction and we end up calling 2 pizza places to find someone who will deliver to our hotel at 11:00pm. We get the boys up and turn the lights on and we have a midnight picnic watching cartoons.

It's about 12:30 by the time we finally get back to bed. I turn on the bathroom light and leave the door open a little so it's not so dark. I think this is the latest the boys have ever been up but I'm sure this was an anomaly and they will definitely sleep better while we're on vacation. Or not.

Sleepless nights

I don't know what it is. I haven't had a full night of uninterrupted sleep for months now. At least since Amber got pregnant.

Some nights it will be Josh crying out. Sometimes Daniel will come into our room and want to sleep with us. Sometimes it's my mind racing and I can't stop thinking about stuff. It's different each night but even though we just got back from a 10 day vacation, I don't feel particularly rested and when Daniel woke up coughing and sick at 3:00, I had a feeling I'd be up for the day. I got him back to bed pretty easily but my mind was awake and worrying about all sorts of stuff.

I decided to spend some time catching up on over a week's worth of email and around 5:00, the computer froze up, which I took as a sign that I should try to go back to bed for at least a couple hours. My head had barely hit the pillow when I hear Josh weakly cry, "Mommy, Daddy." I got up and went in to see what his problem was. He had his pillow, blanket, soother, and stuffed sheep right next to him. He saw me and smiled and quietly said, "Daddy!" I gave him a hug and kiss and got him tucked in nice and cozy and he is asleep again. But I'm up now.

I've never been a light sleeper and I don't have trouble falling asleep at night - I will often doze off watching TV around 11:00, but ever since Daniel was born, I've had trouble going back to bed after about 3:00. With him, I actually went into work a few times around 5:00 and have done a few marathon housecleaning/laundry sessions under the stars.

I thought this would be over with now that Joshie is mostly sleeping through the night. But I guess God is preparing me for those 2 am feedings next winter. I'm actually looking forward to them.

Anywhere but my own bed

Josh is becoming such an independent little boy. At times. He's still clingy and loves cuddles and is becoming more of a Daddy's boy, but that's not what today's story is about.

Last night we had our usual routine. Amber put Josh to bed while Daniel and I read stories and watched a little Star Wars (yes, he still loves it). Josh had been in his room with the gate up for about half an hour when I brought Daniel up to go to bed.

I heard Josh snoring but I couldn't see him on his bed. It looked like he might be in a pile of blankets on the floor, but no, he had crawled into Daniel's bed with his pillow and stuffed sheep and sleeping blissfully.

Now, I have a (almost) sleeping (almost) three-year-old in my arms and I don't know what to do with him. I can't put him in Josh's bed cause he doesn't have a pillow and will likely notice right away that he's in the wrong bed when I put him down. We are lucky to have a playpen set up in our bedroom for such a time as this.

After Daniel has fallen asleep, I head off to bed. Josh starts crying almost instantly. I guess he realized something was wrong and couldn't figure out where he was. So, Amber brought Josh to bed with me and he fell asleep peacefully beside me.

Later that night, after Amber had moved Josh back to his bed and taken down the gate, the pattering of little feet can be heard in our hallway. We live in a 4-plex so there are always strange noises, but this sounded like someone on our stairs. Josh had gotten out of his bed and gone downstairs at 1:30am looking for something. He came back up and ran to our room.

I don't know what was up. He seemed to want to be everywhere but his own bed. He usually loves his bed and pillow. We took the side off his crib to make it a toddler bed and have had virtually no problems with him climbing out. But I guess he's getting older and wants to do things on his own terms.

We're heading out on a 2 week trip across the Prairies tonight, so I'm sure there will be lots of stories when we get back.

Morning (?) Sick

Well, it's confirmed now. If the pregnancy test wasn't enough, Amber has been going through all the symptoms she had with Daniel and Josh, if not more.

• Pregnancy Brain - she forgot her wallet twice in two days, once at a friend's house and once in a car
• Morning Sickness - she's been nauseous and feeling sick the last few days
• Appetite - she's always been a very small eater but lately has been keeping up to the rest of the family
• Tiny bladder - 'nuff said
• Belly - suprisingly at 7 weeks she seems to be showing, even though she's been working out at the gym way more than ever

It was less than 20 months ago that she was pregnant with Josh, but in some ways it seems like forever ago. I know this isn't about my feelings, but I'm working on it. ;)

Daniel: Episode III

As in the Star Wars saga itself, I think Episode III will be the darkest and saddest portion of our tale.

The other night Daniel wanted to watch Star Wars before bed again. I decided to put in Return of the Jedi thinking he'd like the Ewoks. Well, I was right. He thought they were very cute and whenever the scene would move, he'd ask to see the "jungle parts".

After a while, he wanted to see Darth Vader and asked if there was a big sword fight in this one. He also asked if Darth Vader was going to take his helmet off. I don't know why he knew that - this boy just knows stuff.

I put it to the end for the Luke/Vader fight. Luke cuts off Vader's hand and then the Emperor comes to get Luke to turn to the dark side. Luke says no and the Emperor shoots him with force lightning. I thought that would be a little too scary so I fast forwarded through the electrocution bits and the Emperor getting thrown in the pit and stopped at the scene where Vader unmasks.

Luke and his father share this touching moment and Vader dies in his arms.

"Daddy, is Darth Vader sick?"

"Yes buddy, he's pretty sick."

With a shaking, tearfilled voice, "Is Luke going to take him to the doctor?"

I nearly cry at this. Daniel's favorite character is hurt really bad and he doesn't know how to deal with it. His heart is breaking and he doesn't know why. I don't know what to say.

"Luke's going to take Darth Vader to the doctor Daddy. He's going to take him to the hospital"

"He's going to be okay buddy," I lie.

How do you talk to a toddler who isn't yet three years old about death? I guess I'll have to get a book from the library or something.

So often he acts so much older. He hungers and thirsts for information. He watches and observes so much and remembers things months later. We want to get him into some sort of preschool in the fall, but we're not even sure where we'll be living in September. I don't want to push him, but I don't want to hold him back either.

Man, this parenting thing is tough. Changing diapers is nothing.

Daniel: Episode II

Not so long ago in a living room not so far, far away...

The night after our Star Wars date, Daniel wanted to do it again. "Daddy can we watch Star Wars again?"

"No, sweetie, Star Wars isn't on tonight."

"But I like Star Wars! Can we watch it again pleeeease????"

I thought this was too cute and how many more years will I get of my boy begging to watch a movie with me? So, I dug out my DVDs and put in The Empire Strikes Back, thinking that since he was such a fan of Yoda in Attack of the Clones, this would be a good introduction to the original series.

I fast forwarded to the Yoda parts. Daniel loved the part where the big fish ate R2D2 and spit him out on the shore. "Daddy, it's just like Jonah!" He loved Yoda teaching Luke how to stand on his head. He loved Yoda smacking Artoo with his cane.

But, somehow he found a new favorite. We ended up watching Darth Vader and Daniel loved it. He was enthralled by the light saber fight. Then at the climactic scene he said "Daddy, what's Darth Vader saying?"

He said, "I am your father"

"Why is Luke yelling? Why did he jump in the hole?"

We watched parts of the movie a few more times that week. Daniel always wanted to see the part where Luke is yelling "Artoo! Artoo!" at the water. And especially, "Let's watch the sword fight with the Father part. Where Luke jumps in the hole."

I don't think he understands though because we were watching the beginning, where Darth Vader is chasing Han and Leia out of the base and Daniel says "Don't worry Daddy. Darth Vader is going to save them." I couldn't break it to him that Darth Vader is the bad guy. He's Daniel's favorite. Maybe he sees the good in him. :)

Daniel: Episode I

Daniel has always been a huge fan of Veggie Tales. From the time he was about 4 months old, he would lay quietly and watch a Veggies movie. His first word was "Bob" (the Tomato.) But recently he has become something of a Star Wars fan.

A few weeks ago, Attack of the Clones was on TV and I was watching a little bit before we put the boys to bed. I thought it would be a good refresher before we went to go see Episode III. Amber had just taken Josh up to bed and Daniel came in and said, "Daddy, who's that frog?"

"That's Yoda. He's not a frog"

"Oh, does he jump?"

"Well, yes. At the end he jumps a lot"

"Can we watch him jump?"

So I look at the clock and it's about quarter after 8. I think to myself. Hmmm it's probably over around 9:00. That's pushing the limits of Daniel's bedtime but if we count this as his storytime, it won't be too bad. Daniel gets his jammies on and we cuddle on the couch and watch the epic tale of good and evil. Daniel is enthralled and quietly asks questions the whole time.

"Daddy who's that? Are they having a big sword fight? Is Yoda going to jump? Where's that space ship going? Where did Star Wars go? What's a commercial? Is Star Wars coming back?"

I misjudged the length of the movie with commercials. Yoda didn't have his big "frog-jumping" battle with Count Dooku until about 9:50. I think it was definitely worth it. He loved it. He was possibly more excited about the ending though. "Are Ani and Padme getting married? Like Mommy and Daddy? Ooooh.... they are getting married. Like Uncle Adam and Beckie. Are they happy?"

Well, Daniel hasn't quite given up on Veggies yet, but Star Wars has become a new favorite. We'll pick this up in Daniel: Episode II.

Two lines

What a strange day.

Daniel and I went to go pick up supper last night and do a few errands. We stopped at Safeway and got a pregnancy test. When we got up to the till, the cashier scanned it through and scanned my cards. We then had this unlikely conversation:

Her: So, Mr. McInnis, does your wife know you are buying this for her?

Me: Umm... yeah (not really wanting to talk about this with a stranger)

Her: Is it... good news?

Me: Oh, yeah, it's good.

Her: That's excellent. I have 4 myself

Me: Well, I have 2 under 3 right now and this will be the third.

Her: (smiling widely) That's awesome. Good for you Mr. McInnis. Keep it up. Bye.

I can't imagine that situation coming up in the Safeway cashier training sessions.

Anyway, Amber got to pee on a stick this morning and as you have probably deduced from the title of this section, there were 2 lines. We're on our way to the perfect family - three boys. :)

I am excited about this, but it means that I have less than 9 months to find a van. We have been driving a little 2-door hatchback since before Amber got pregnant the first time. It's been tight with two carseats, but there are only 4 seatbelts, so we can't put it off much longer.

I know that's probably not the emotional outlet and expression of my feelings that it should be, but I'm not real good with sharing personal stuff. I'd rather talk about anything else - might be a guy thing. Maybe this blog will help me with that.

But I have to end with a happy face. I am more than okay with this slightly unexpected turn of events. I look forward to going on this journey again. :)

God's Timing

Well, it's looking more and more like July isn't going to be the time to try.

Tomorrow marks the record for the most days Amber has been late without being pregnant. So, it looks like a February baby. And based on all the charts, it looks like a boy. I know Amber really wants a girl, but it's all in God's hands now. Maybe this is just a reminder that He is in control and His plan for our lives is beyond our understanding.

We'll get a test soon, even though I'm pretty sure. Amber said "It's no fair. Boys get to pee on things all the time. Girls only get this one chance."

Well, it's 4am and I haven't really been to bed. Josh was sleeping with us tonight (he's in a bit of a clingy mood these days) and he was rolling and kicking and pushing me. I guess it's good for me to get practice for those late night feedings again. :)

Here We Go Again?

I am the father of 2 beautiful boys. Daniel is almost 3 and Josh is 19 months. My fantastic wife Amber has been writing a blog entitled "Adventures in Parenting" for several months now but recent events have made me decide that I need to share my view as well.

Amber and I have decided to try for another baby. The plan is to go for a girl in July. Amber has read up on several different methods for determining gender. There are theories on nutrition, time of day, time of month, time of year, temperatures, and I'm sure several others I don't know anything at all about (as well as others I just don't want to talk about).

My family has a bit of a history with boys.

My Dad is the first-born in his family and has 2 sisters and twin brothers. He has 3 boys, his baby brother has 2 boys, I have 2 and my younger brother has 1. It's been over 48 years since a male in that line has had a girl. 10 boys in a row!

My Mom's family was a little more balanced until this last generation. Daniel was my grandpa's first great grandchild. In the 2 and a half years following his birth, 5 more great grandchildren were born - ALL BOYS!

So, you can see why Amber wants to try for a girl. She feels that science might be her friend. We'll have to see.