Cold Turkey

Daniel had one of his hardest nights ever tonight. He's had a soother every night since he was born. Well, almost every night. Once, when he was a few months old we decided to let him cry himself to sleep. He cried hard after we put him to bed for about half an hour, then fell asleep. We felt so bad when we went in to get him in the morning and his soother was on the dresser - we'd somehow forgotten to give it to him on this traumatic night. But that's a totally different story.

Anyways, Amber and I have decided that it's getting to be about time for him to give up the soother. He's three years old and we don't want him to be one of those 6 year olds with a pacifier at the mall. Daniel and I had a conversation earlier in the day and worked out a "deal". After some negotiation we decided that if he could sleep a whole night without his soother, he could have 4 little candies the next day. Yeah, I know bribing him with morning sugar isn't the best thing, but oh well. It worked with potty training, we'll give it a shot.

So, we talked about it a few times over the day and Daniel seemed very excited at the prospect of candies. When he went to bed, we didn't get his soother. We read stories for a while and then he went to brush his teeth and get one more kiss from Mommy. On the way back, he asked for his soother.

"Remember the deal? Did you want to try to go without it tonight?"

"Yeah! Then I get jujubes."

So, I lay down with him for a while. He rolled around and was more antsy than normal. Finally, he turned to me and said, "I can't fall asleep."

"Do you want me to get your soother?"

"Yeah, no, yeah, no... ummm..."

"I'll go get it and you can decide."

So I went and brought it and he didn't want it so I held it. He played with it in my hand for a bit, closing my fingers around it. He'd roll away and then back and feel for it again.

Once, he took the soother and put it up to his lips and looked at me. I felt so bad for him. This was so hard but he wanted to do it.

"It's okay buddy. You can have it if you need it. We can try again tomorrow."

He started crying hard and gave it back to me. Put it in my hand and rolled away. His hand kept feeling for it but he still couldn't fall asleep.

"Do you want me to put it away so you don't have to think about it?"

"Yeah"

So, I stuck it in my pocket and he calmed down for a bit and then started rolling around in his bed again. Kind of nervously. He told me there were monsters in his closet and under his bed. We checked and found no monsters. He was kind of jittery. It's like he was going through de-tox but his will was so strong.

Finally, he was fishing around in the bed. I asked what he was looking for.

Smiling innocently he said, "Something blue..."

"Is it this?" I took out the soother. He smiled and took it. He rolled over towards the wall and fell asleep. Poor guy, he tried so hard. Tomorrow will be easier.

I guess I fell asleep too, cause Amber came in and woke me up some time later. I peeked over at Daniel before I left. He was still facing the wall. The soother was on the bed by his open hand. He didn't suck on it, he just needed to hold it. I snuck it away and counted this as a marvelous success. I think it counts.

Daniel has always been this way. Sleeping through the night, eating solid food, walking, potty training - all the same way. When he felt he was ready, he just did it. No messing around. No taking his time. He is such a determined little guy. I'm so proud.