Calgary has such a "labour shortage" right now that nearly every place is hiring. We need people in fields from "Sandwich Artist" to nurse. We were out driving yesterday and I saw Help Wanted signs in 5 consecutive windows - and that was the entire mini-mall.
I have been wondering about this for over a year now. How can a city of this size not be able to sustain itself? What are the 1,000,000 people doing? Even in Nakusp, you had someone to run the restaurant, someone to work at the gas station, doctors, mailmen, garbagemen. It was so balanced that I couldn't find a job.
A new point in this discussion occurred to me yesterday. I was dropping off bottles and cans at the recyclers. There were 8-10 men between my age and my dad's who were sorting through everyone's sticky, stinky bags of returnables. I guess I had always assumed that these guys weren't qualified to do anything else. Most of them looked like new immigrants and probably didn't speak English. This bigotted view came crashing down on me when I was served by a guy in his mid thirties. He was in good physical condition, spoke perfect English, was shaven and dressed nicely. And he was sorting through my bag of garbage with his bare hands to count my $4.95 worth of coke cans.
After I left, I began wondering about this guy. Is he married? Does he have boys like I do? Does he like his job? Does he know there are probably hundreds of jobs as far from or closer to his home that don't leave him smelling like beer bottles at the end of the day? Would he hate talking on the phone all day as much as I would doing his job? How much money could he possibly be making?
I don't know what to do about this. I can't offer him a job. I can't bring him applications to work at 7-11 or A&W. I don't have any more cans so I can't even really come back and talk to him about it. Maybe I'll take my inspiration from a poem I learned 25 years ago.
----------------
A Problem
by Marchette Chute
My zipper is stuck.
Now what shall I do?
Give it a tug,
And pull it in two?
Give it a jerk?
And then it will jam.
I think I'll just sit here
The way that I am.
---------------
I'll be thankful for my job and my family. I know there's more I could and probably should do but recognizing my own blessings is the first step.
Friday, December 29
Tuesday, December 19
Bright Boy
It's been a while since I wrote a dad's view on parenting so without further ado...
Time for a Cute Kid Story
Andrew is getting so smart. It's cute when he figures things out.
Recently he's started "talking" more. He tries sounds out and when he gets something that works he will repeat it over and over. This week his word is "bud'n". He uses this when he's reaching for anything with buttons. Remotes, phones, my PDA. He's a gadget guy just like his brothers and his parents.
The other cool thing he did today was when I was leaving for work. He was sitting in his high chair eating lunch and I waved and said, "Goodbye!" He smiled and just ignored me. I was a little sad because he always waves at the door. I went to say good bye to the boys and came back to him. When he saw me putting my coat on, he smiled and waved. He had figured out that I wasn't really leaving yet because I didn't have my coat on. What a logic jump for a 10-month old kid.
I'm so looking forward to all the steps they will take over the next year.
Time for a Cute Kid Story
Andrew is getting so smart. It's cute when he figures things out.
Recently he's started "talking" more. He tries sounds out and when he gets something that works he will repeat it over and over. This week his word is "bud'n". He uses this when he's reaching for anything with buttons. Remotes, phones, my PDA. He's a gadget guy just like his brothers and his parents.
The other cool thing he did today was when I was leaving for work. He was sitting in his high chair eating lunch and I waved and said, "Goodbye!" He smiled and just ignored me. I was a little sad because he always waves at the door. I went to say good bye to the boys and came back to him. When he saw me putting my coat on, he smiled and waved. He had figured out that I wasn't really leaving yet because I didn't have my coat on. What a logic jump for a 10-month old kid.
I'm so looking forward to all the steps they will take over the next year.
Sunday, December 17
Weird kids shows
Amber and I are all about sharing content with you these days. It makes blogging so much easier. We just link to something, give you a few comments and then you can have a wonderful reading experience.
Today I have a very interesting list for you. It's by Matt Dinniman, author of "Fireflies in the Cloud". He has written his list of "The Top Ten Weirdest, Creepiest, Freakiest Children's Television Shows".
Stop by and read it. I agree with a lot of the opinions, but in interest of not totally plagiarising another column, I will add my Top 3 Honorable Mentions.
3. The Wiggles
I know that a zillion kids love these guys. I know they have recently lost a member. It's not so much the concerts that look like they're an airband or the the big dinosaur, or even the gay pirate Cap'n Feathersword. The thing I find the creepiest is that they are the richest, highest-grossing entertainers in Australia. Even bigger than Nicole Kidman, AC/DC, or Steve Irwin.
2. Land O' Hands
Here is Telefilm Canada's spiel about this series:
A pre-school puppet series set in the fanciful world of pre-historic Alberta, Land O’ Hands follows the adventures of a young boy named Bungle and his family of cave people. Bungle’s natural curiosity often leads him into trouble. With the help of his little sister, Pubba, and his best friend, Garby, Bungle always sets things right and learns more about himself and his place in the big world of the jungle.
Sounds ok I guess, but the creepy part is that nearly the whole show - sets, characters, trees are made of painted human hands. It freaks me out. It looks low budget and reminds me of a kindergarten project.
1. Max and Ruby
This is the most disturbing kids show on TV for two reasons.
A) It's about a little 2-year old bunny and his 8ish-year old sister. Max is incredibly whiny and speaks in one word sentences like, "Cars!" or "Chocolate!" This is especially annoying and creepy because this speech pattern ends up being imitated by the two to four-year olds that have watched it.
B) There are no parents. The big sister tucks him in, makes him food, disciplines him, takes him on outings - all while trying to maintain her normal child life of going to school and being a Bunny Scout or something. Very responsible kid but what happened to the parents??
Today I have a very interesting list for you. It's by Matt Dinniman, author of "Fireflies in the Cloud". He has written his list of "The Top Ten Weirdest, Creepiest, Freakiest Children's Television Shows".
Stop by and read it. I agree with a lot of the opinions, but in interest of not totally plagiarising another column, I will add my Top 3 Honorable Mentions.
3. The Wiggles
I know that a zillion kids love these guys. I know they have recently lost a member. It's not so much the concerts that look like they're an airband or the the big dinosaur, or even the gay pirate Cap'n Feathersword. The thing I find the creepiest is that they are the richest, highest-grossing entertainers in Australia. Even bigger than Nicole Kidman, AC/DC, or Steve Irwin.
2. Land O' Hands
Here is Telefilm Canada's spiel about this series:
A pre-school puppet series set in the fanciful world of pre-historic Alberta, Land O’ Hands follows the adventures of a young boy named Bungle and his family of cave people. Bungle’s natural curiosity often leads him into trouble. With the help of his little sister, Pubba, and his best friend, Garby, Bungle always sets things right and learns more about himself and his place in the big world of the jungle.
Sounds ok I guess, but the creepy part is that nearly the whole show - sets, characters, trees are made of painted human hands. It freaks me out. It looks low budget and reminds me of a kindergarten project.
1. Max and Ruby
This is the most disturbing kids show on TV for two reasons.
A) It's about a little 2-year old bunny and his 8ish-year old sister. Max is incredibly whiny and speaks in one word sentences like, "Cars!" or "Chocolate!" This is especially annoying and creepy because this speech pattern ends up being imitated by the two to four-year olds that have watched it.
B) There are no parents. The big sister tucks him in, makes him food, disciplines him, takes him on outings - all while trying to maintain her normal child life of going to school and being a Bunny Scout or something. Very responsible kid but what happened to the parents??
Saturday, December 16
Decisions of a 18 year old
A while ago I read an article about life choices and how they affect us. It told the story of an old man on his death bed looking back over his life. He regretted the path he had gone down and the career he had chosen. He said, "I cannot believe I let my life be directed by the choices of an 18-year old."
This had stuck with me for the last few weeks. I've wanted to write about it but I have only now started to digest it to the point where I can understand how it applies to me.
I feel that from 1995-2005, I was making all my life choices based on an initial decision I made when I was 18. I decided then that I wanted to be a music pastor. My life to that point seemed to point in that direction and I had support and a career plan laid out before me. For the next ten years, whenever a fork came in my life, I consciously or subconsciously choose the road that would get me closer to full time ministry.
Even when I wasn't working in a church, I was making connections at the music store, staying active on email lists and forums, volunteering, all in a hope that it would eventually lead to this job that 1995-Me wanted. I was building a resume but meanwhile, I was ignoring other interests and gifts I had.
It took a move to middle of nowhere and several emergency room visits to show me the big picture. It was like I zoomed out about 5 levels on Google Maps and now I could see my path. I could also see all the other paths in front of me. I made a decision to go in another direction, down a path I wouldn't have looked at before because it led away from music pastoring.
That was just over a year ago and I have to say I can't remember being this happy before. Not when I was working full-time in Winnipeg, not when I was at school. I haven't looked at the church job sites for over 12 months. I've unsubscribed from the email lists. I can visit another church without thinking, "If I was the music pastor here, I would change...." People ask me if I'm looking for a new position, if I'm applying, and I say something like, "Not right now. We're in a season of refreshment and renewal. God will lead us back in His time."
Honestly though, I don't see that happening. This last year I have been able to look at my gifts, abilities, weaknesses, and passions. I have realized that 18-year old with stars in his eyes was encouraged to take a certain path. I didn't know how to get off it, so I ran my hardest down it. I'm glad I was able to make the jump when I did and not when I am 75 years old and unable to change. I'm not saying that the path I'm on now is the right one for me forever, but now that I know how to zoom out and see the other paths, I think I won't be as scared to change.
This had stuck with me for the last few weeks. I've wanted to write about it but I have only now started to digest it to the point where I can understand how it applies to me.
I feel that from 1995-2005, I was making all my life choices based on an initial decision I made when I was 18. I decided then that I wanted to be a music pastor. My life to that point seemed to point in that direction and I had support and a career plan laid out before me. For the next ten years, whenever a fork came in my life, I consciously or subconsciously choose the road that would get me closer to full time ministry.
Even when I wasn't working in a church, I was making connections at the music store, staying active on email lists and forums, volunteering, all in a hope that it would eventually lead to this job that 1995-Me wanted. I was building a resume but meanwhile, I was ignoring other interests and gifts I had.
It took a move to middle of nowhere and several emergency room visits to show me the big picture. It was like I zoomed out about 5 levels on Google Maps and now I could see my path. I could also see all the other paths in front of me. I made a decision to go in another direction, down a path I wouldn't have looked at before because it led away from music pastoring.
That was just over a year ago and I have to say I can't remember being this happy before. Not when I was working full-time in Winnipeg, not when I was at school. I haven't looked at the church job sites for over 12 months. I've unsubscribed from the email lists. I can visit another church without thinking, "If I was the music pastor here, I would change...." People ask me if I'm looking for a new position, if I'm applying, and I say something like, "Not right now. We're in a season of refreshment and renewal. God will lead us back in His time."
Honestly though, I don't see that happening. This last year I have been able to look at my gifts, abilities, weaknesses, and passions. I have realized that 18-year old with stars in his eyes was encouraged to take a certain path. I didn't know how to get off it, so I ran my hardest down it. I'm glad I was able to make the jump when I did and not when I am 75 years old and unable to change. I'm not saying that the path I'm on now is the right one for me forever, but now that I know how to zoom out and see the other paths, I think I won't be as scared to change.
Wednesday, December 13
Superman II - Take Two
30 years ago, when I was but a bump in a wedding dress, Richard Donner was filming a two-part Superman movie series. Like Peter Jackson of The Lord of the Rings fame, Donner was filming his movies concurrently. Once he had finished the first movie and sent it away for post-production, the producers put a stop to his filming so they could concentrate on getting the first movie out on time.
In a move that would make an interesting movie in its own right, producers Alexander and Ilya Salkind took the 75% completed sequel and had one of their uncredited producers film the rest of the movie. The discarded much of Donner's original footage and storyline and Richard Lester was credited for directing the entire movie.
Recently, Warner Bros has released, Superman II - The Richard Donner Cut. It has over 45 minutes of brand new footage that was recovered from a damp warehouse. The movie has a very different feel and a totally different ending.
I was overjoyed to see that the whole sequence with Lois Lane in Paris was cut since that was one of my least favorite part of the original cut. The new opening fits much more clearly with the first movie now.
One of the most interesting parts is a scene that was actually never filmed. It was a scene that Donner saw as so crucial to the series that he used it as the screen test scenes. They have taken the actual screen test footage of Kidder and Reeve and inserted it into the movie. It takes place in a very small set and the costuming isn't up to the same level as the rest of the movie but it is a very interesting scene. It is the moment when Clark finally admits to Lois his secret. I wasn't as happy with this scene, not only because the quality is so low, but because it replaced one of my favorite scenes - the fireplace reveal.
It is very obvious that Donner was only able to shoot about 75% of the film. He reluctantly used a few of Lester's scenes to fill in the story and I think that makes for a weak plot at times. Many of the scenes, including the climax at the Fortress of Solitude and the Niagara Falls sequences are rushed and some crucial moments are
missing. Donner's ego wouldn't let him use barely any of the footage that this usurper filmed and unfortunately, the end product suffers. I agree that the movie would have been much better if he had finished everything he wanted to do, but this new cut is still a very good movie. Definitely worth taking a look at.
Tuesday, December 12
Christmas Stuff
Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends. Okay, here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be a SCROOGE!!! Just copy this entire post and paste into your own blog. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. 'Tis the Season to be NICE!
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Bag it. When we were kids we used to have reusable cloth bags that our Mom and Dad gifts always came in.
2. Real tree or artificial? Remote-controlled fake
3. When do you put up the tree? Used to be Dec 11 but we've been pushing it back closer to the 1st the last few years.
4. When do you take the tree down? New Years Day
5. Do you like eggnog? Mmmmmm... love it. Almost as good as hamnog.
6. Favorite gift received as a child? A magic kit when I was 5.
7. Do you have a nativity scene? A Veggie Tales Set that is missing the manger because the boys keep playing with it. So now Baby Jesus has to sleep on the dirt.
8. Hardest person to buy for? No one. Amber did all the hard ones this year.
9. Easiest person to buy for? Amber. We bought a laptop and that was supposed to be for birthdays and Christmas and anniversary. But now she's bought me stuff so maybe I'll have to take the laptop back and get her Subway gift certificates.
10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Hmmmm... who reads this? A $50 cheese tray from work when I was expecting a cheque.
11. Mail or email Christmas cards? Amber is a crafty scrapbooker / card maker, so as much as I would love to do email, it'll be mail - hopefully this week.
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. That was my first date by myself with a girl. Well with like 6 "couples" from our class.
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Like I said, I'm so glad I'm married to a Christmas-lover. She takes care of most of it and I can be as Humbug as I want.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Not that I remember.
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Christmas party 1994, a girl brought these little tart-sized cherry cheesecakes. I knew then that I'd have to marry her.
16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Our remote lets us turn on either the white, colored, or both. I love my treemote.
17. Favorite Christmas song? Sleigh Ride - the instrumental with the trumpet/horse at the end.
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Home. Winter driving is no fun.
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeers? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Dunder, and Blixem. And Rudolph and Olive.
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Angel
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? One on Christmas Eve and the rest Christmas morning.
22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Yuletide. And X-mas. All the plastic, glittery, capitalistic nonsense that distracts from Christmas. I'm still trying to figure out how to separate Nativity from Happy Holidays.
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Bag it. When we were kids we used to have reusable cloth bags that our Mom and Dad gifts always came in.
2. Real tree or artificial? Remote-controlled fake
3. When do you put up the tree? Used to be Dec 11 but we've been pushing it back closer to the 1st the last few years.
4. When do you take the tree down? New Years Day
5. Do you like eggnog? Mmmmmm... love it. Almost as good as hamnog.
6. Favorite gift received as a child? A magic kit when I was 5.
7. Do you have a nativity scene? A Veggie Tales Set that is missing the manger because the boys keep playing with it. So now Baby Jesus has to sleep on the dirt.
8. Hardest person to buy for? No one. Amber did all the hard ones this year.
9. Easiest person to buy for? Amber. We bought a laptop and that was supposed to be for birthdays and Christmas and anniversary. But now she's bought me stuff so maybe I'll have to take the laptop back and get her Subway gift certificates.
10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Hmmmm... who reads this? A $50 cheese tray from work when I was expecting a cheque.
11. Mail or email Christmas cards? Amber is a crafty scrapbooker / card maker, so as much as I would love to do email, it'll be mail - hopefully this week.
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. That was my first date by myself with a girl. Well with like 6 "couples" from our class.
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Like I said, I'm so glad I'm married to a Christmas-lover. She takes care of most of it and I can be as Humbug as I want.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Not that I remember.
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Christmas party 1994, a girl brought these little tart-sized cherry cheesecakes. I knew then that I'd have to marry her.
16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Our remote lets us turn on either the white, colored, or both. I love my treemote.
17. Favorite Christmas song? Sleigh Ride - the instrumental with the trumpet/horse at the end.
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Home. Winter driving is no fun.
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeers? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Dunder, and Blixem. And Rudolph and Olive.
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Angel
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? One on Christmas Eve and the rest Christmas morning.
22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Yuletide. And X-mas. All the plastic, glittery, capitalistic nonsense that distracts from Christmas. I'm still trying to figure out how to separate Nativity from Happy Holidays.
Monday, December 11
Fast Hands
This is a wonderfully amazing video. It's by far the fastest hammerer dulcimer player I've ever seen. The fact that I've never seen another hammered dulcimer player does nothing to diminish the awesomeness of his performance. The first two minutes or so is nice mood-setting music and then he hits movement 2 and his hands become a blur.
Now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head.
Now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head.
Amazing But True Holiday Facts
The Top 50 Amazing-but-True Holiday Facts
* In the village where the original Saint Nicholas was born,
children celebrate Christmas by giving gifts to old men
with long white beards.
* Children whose families celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas
have a 97 percent higher chance of getting socks as a gift.
* The yule log was originally a symbol of good digestion
following an overlarge Christmas feast.
* The sugar rush of a fruitcake is canceled out by its alcohol
content.
* The dogs barking "Jingle Bells" on the novelty record were
not dogs at all, but parrots, which can mimic dogs and are
easier to train.
* The first-ever Hanukkah latke recipe featured turnips,
rhubarb and kale. These proved so unpopular that many
different vegetables were substituted until the current
potato version prevailed.
* During the early 1970s, the Hasbro company attempted to
build a "North Pole" toy factory at Point Barrow, Alaska.
Construction was halted when feasibility studies predicted
labor shortages.
* In freshly-fallen snow, reindeer hoof prints are indisguishable
from those of the common Missouri white-tailed deer.
* Studies show that neighbors tend to complain about wattage-
sucking, multimedia outdoor decorations because they are
*jealous*.
* On the eighth day of Christmas, Jesus was circumcised.
* The most popular eggnog in Russia is not made from chicken
eggs, but from caviar.
* Every year between Christmas Day and New Year's day, there is
a 2-for-1 sale on caribou patties at the Anchorage Deli.
* The tradition of kissing under the mistletoe originated in
Germany in the 18th century when a person who was deathly
allergic to mistletoe came in contact it and had to be revived
by mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
* Absurd as it seems, behavioral scientists claim kids don't want
expensive toys -- what they REALLY want is just to be loved.
* The Egyptians celebrated a holiday they called "Chrystmus"
over 1700 years before the birth of Christ.
* The primary causes of death during the holidays are heart
attacks and suicide caused by the arrival of credit-card bills.
* According to the Department of Homeland Security's 2007
strategic plan, 2006 will be the last year youngsters can
sit on a mall Santa's lap without first passing through a
metal detector.
* Properly prepared, figgy pudding is a potent aphrodisiac.
* The average height of a Christmas tree (5' 4") is exactly
the same as the distance between Jesus's hands on the cross.
* Tinsel is an excellent garnish for chicken or veal.
* "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" was banned from the airwaves
and bookstores from 1950-1956 because of its implied support
for Communism.
* Pope Gregory moved Christmas from its original day, March 17,
at the request of Irish bishops and barley farmers who were
promoting a new holiday to commemorate Saint Patrick.
* Eggnog was created after its predecessors beefnog, hamnog and
troutnog failed miserably.
* The reason you almost never see purple Christmas lights is
that Saint Nicholas, the prototype for Santa Clause, believed
purple was satanic. He even threatened to have any of his
parishioners who wore purple excommunicated.
* Reindeer feces have been known to burn holes in roof shingles.
* For nine years following the 1843 publication of "A Christmas
Carol," Ebenezer was the most popular boys' name in Great
Britain.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright 2006 by Chris White
------------------------------------------------------------------
T H E T O P 5 L I S T
TOPFIVE -- The Web's Best Original Humor http://www.topfive.com
* In the village where the original Saint Nicholas was born,
children celebrate Christmas by giving gifts to old men
with long white beards.
* Children whose families celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas
have a 97 percent higher chance of getting socks as a gift.
* The yule log was originally a symbol of good digestion
following an overlarge Christmas feast.
* The sugar rush of a fruitcake is canceled out by its alcohol
content.
* The dogs barking "Jingle Bells" on the novelty record were
not dogs at all, but parrots, which can mimic dogs and are
easier to train.
* The first-ever Hanukkah latke recipe featured turnips,
rhubarb and kale. These proved so unpopular that many
different vegetables were substituted until the current
potato version prevailed.
* During the early 1970s, the Hasbro company attempted to
build a "North Pole" toy factory at Point Barrow, Alaska.
Construction was halted when feasibility studies predicted
labor shortages.
* In freshly-fallen snow, reindeer hoof prints are indisguishable
from those of the common Missouri white-tailed deer.
* Studies show that neighbors tend to complain about wattage-
sucking, multimedia outdoor decorations because they are
*jealous*.
* On the eighth day of Christmas, Jesus was circumcised.
* The most popular eggnog in Russia is not made from chicken
eggs, but from caviar.
* Every year between Christmas Day and New Year's day, there is
a 2-for-1 sale on caribou patties at the Anchorage Deli.
* The tradition of kissing under the mistletoe originated in
Germany in the 18th century when a person who was deathly
allergic to mistletoe came in contact it and had to be revived
by mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
* Absurd as it seems, behavioral scientists claim kids don't want
expensive toys -- what they REALLY want is just to be loved.
* The Egyptians celebrated a holiday they called "Chrystmus"
over 1700 years before the birth of Christ.
* The primary causes of death during the holidays are heart
attacks and suicide caused by the arrival of credit-card bills.
* According to the Department of Homeland Security's 2007
strategic plan, 2006 will be the last year youngsters can
sit on a mall Santa's lap without first passing through a
metal detector.
* Properly prepared, figgy pudding is a potent aphrodisiac.
* The average height of a Christmas tree (5' 4") is exactly
the same as the distance between Jesus's hands on the cross.
* Tinsel is an excellent garnish for chicken or veal.
* "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" was banned from the airwaves
and bookstores from 1950-1956 because of its implied support
for Communism.
* Pope Gregory moved Christmas from its original day, March 17,
at the request of Irish bishops and barley farmers who were
promoting a new holiday to commemorate Saint Patrick.
* Eggnog was created after its predecessors beefnog, hamnog and
troutnog failed miserably.
* The reason you almost never see purple Christmas lights is
that Saint Nicholas, the prototype for Santa Clause, believed
purple was satanic. He even threatened to have any of his
parishioners who wore purple excommunicated.
* Reindeer feces have been known to burn holes in roof shingles.
* For nine years following the 1843 publication of "A Christmas
Carol," Ebenezer was the most popular boys' name in Great
Britain.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright 2006 by Chris White
------------------------------------------------------------------
T H E T O P 5 L I S T
TOPFIVE -- The Web's Best Original Humor http://www.topfive.com
Sunday, December 10
Last One
In honor of the momentous occasion this morning, when, at church, I was sitting beside or behind my entire blog readership (all three) at once, I will post volume 4 of I'm A Christian.
Saturday, December 9
Video 3
This one is probably the best parody. It really reminds me of the Mac ads but hits me pretty close to home. As someone with a degree in Christian music, it's sometimes tough to remember the variety of music out there.
Friday, December 8
Feast 121
Appetizer
Which language would you like to learn and why?
I think brushing up on my French would serve me very well. As a call centre agent, way more opportunities would be open to me if I was bilingual.
Soup
What's the funniest thing you've heard or read so far this week?
Daniel and "all the chicken".
Salad
Which movie was so bad you couldn't watch the whole thing?
I think I've said it before but "The Royal Tenenbaums". I just didn't get it at all.
Main Course
If there were a holiday in your honor that didn't use your actual name, what would the day be called?
Day of Men With Brothers and Fathers and Sons and Nephews but No Females in the Line
Dessert
Name one movie which is coming out soon that you would like to see.
I want to not see movies at the theatre anymore. It's so expensive and I don't enjoy it. But next summer, I'll have to go see Spider-Man 3.
Which language would you like to learn and why?
I think brushing up on my French would serve me very well. As a call centre agent, way more opportunities would be open to me if I was bilingual.
Soup
What's the funniest thing you've heard or read so far this week?
Daniel and "all the chicken".
Salad
Which movie was so bad you couldn't watch the whole thing?
I think I've said it before but "The Royal Tenenbaums". I just didn't get it at all.
Main Course
If there were a holiday in your honor that didn't use your actual name, what would the day be called?
Day of Men With Brothers and Fathers and Sons and Nephews but No Females in the Line
Dessert
Name one movie which is coming out soon that you would like to see.
I want to not see movies at the theatre anymore. It's so expensive and I don't enjoy it. But next summer, I'll have to go see Spider-Man 3.
Part Two
Here's part 2 of this series. I really like it. Partially because jsut this week I was thinking about wearing a tie to work. Actually, this Sunday, Amber made me change my sweater beacause it wasn't "churchy" enough. And I did. So I guess we are all a little bit Christian and a little bit Christ-Follower
Thursday, December 7
I'm a Christ Follower
Regular readers of A Dad's View (that's fun to say) will know that I am a fan of the I'm a Mac ads. I posted a few weeks ago about The Church You Know. Well, I found a series of ads that may be even better. I'll post one a day for the next few days. These are by Community Christian Church. Just click the "play triangle" below to view.
Tuesday, December 5
Happy Feet - By Daniel
We went to Happy Feet last night and I thought I would let Daniel write a review about it.
i liked it. it had a penguin in it. mumbo danced on the ice. i can't wait for it to come out on dvd. lol. it is a little bit scary when the seal hopped up on the ice. i want to dance like mumbo. you should see it.
Who Are These Kids?
I don't know what's going on. Maybe it's a virus, maybe it's Christmas fever, maybe it's alien abduction, but the boys have definitely got some Jekyll/Hyde going on this week.
Here's a few examples:
Sunday afternoon. We're setting up the Christmas tree and the boys are getting more and more worked up. We send them downstairs and put the gate up to keep Andrew upstairs. After about 30 seconds, they decide they want to come back up. Amber and I have a huge Christmas decoration mess everywhere and would prefer them to not get into it. They have a huge fit at the top of the stairs and one of them (probably Daniel) yanks the pressure-fit gate down towards him and Josh. Unfortunately, they are at the top of the stairs when doing this. I go down and untangle them from the gate and boots and they are pretty happy for the most part.
---===---
Sunday night. I'm making supper and I hear the boys playing with their VeggieTales nativity set. Jimmy and Jerry Gourd are wearing a cow costume. They've been playing nicely for a couple of hours now. I hear the following conversation:
Moooo!
Aaaaaaah!
We're sorry Baby Jesus. It's just us - Jimmy and Jerry. We were just pretending to be a cow.
I forgive you Jimmy and Jerry
---===---
Sunday night supper. Amber asked Daniel to set the table and he was too busy playing with his Veggies, so I did it. We were all seated at the table about to start eating our delicious roast beef dinner. Daniel snapped and started screaming, "I WANTED TO SET THE TABLE! AAAAAAAaaaaaaahhhHHH!"
I picked him up and took him back to his room to cool off. I went back a few minutes later and he apologized. He came out to the dining room to apologize to Amber - all happy and relaxed. He saw the table again and said, "I WANTED TO SET THE TABLE! AAAAAAAaaaaaaahhhHHH!" Back to his room...
Several minutes later, he came out slinking on the floor and popped up, "Surprise!". We welcomed him back to the table and he went into a bit of a trance. He took the serving plate of roast beef and started stabbing at large pieces with his fork.
"I want all the chicken! I am going to be big! I'm going to eat all the chicken!" I gently reached across and took the plate away from him when he had about half a pound of beef. This brought out Mr. Hyde again.
"I AM EATING ALL THE CHICKEN!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaHHHHHHHHH!"
He went back to his room for another 5 minutes or so and when he came out again, he was normal for the rest of the night.
Well, for the most part anyway. When he was eating, he "noticed" that he didn't have his name tag from church on anymore. I assured him that it was okay and he doesn't need a name tag at home. I'm not so sure myself about that though - a tag that said "Crazy Daniel" or "Normal Daniel" would be nice to have.
Here's a few examples:
Sunday afternoon. We're setting up the Christmas tree and the boys are getting more and more worked up. We send them downstairs and put the gate up to keep Andrew upstairs. After about 30 seconds, they decide they want to come back up. Amber and I have a huge Christmas decoration mess everywhere and would prefer them to not get into it. They have a huge fit at the top of the stairs and one of them (probably Daniel) yanks the pressure-fit gate down towards him and Josh. Unfortunately, they are at the top of the stairs when doing this. I go down and untangle them from the gate and boots and they are pretty happy for the most part.
---===---
Sunday night. I'm making supper and I hear the boys playing with their VeggieTales nativity set. Jimmy and Jerry Gourd are wearing a cow costume. They've been playing nicely for a couple of hours now. I hear the following conversation:
Moooo!
Aaaaaaah!
We're sorry Baby Jesus. It's just us - Jimmy and Jerry. We were just pretending to be a cow.
I forgive you Jimmy and Jerry
---===---
Sunday night supper. Amber asked Daniel to set the table and he was too busy playing with his Veggies, so I did it. We were all seated at the table about to start eating our delicious roast beef dinner. Daniel snapped and started screaming, "I WANTED TO SET THE TABLE! AAAAAAAaaaaaaahhhHHH!"
I picked him up and took him back to his room to cool off. I went back a few minutes later and he apologized. He came out to the dining room to apologize to Amber - all happy and relaxed. He saw the table again and said, "I WANTED TO SET THE TABLE! AAAAAAAaaaaaaahhhHHH!" Back to his room...
Several minutes later, he came out slinking on the floor and popped up, "Surprise!". We welcomed him back to the table and he went into a bit of a trance. He took the serving plate of roast beef and started stabbing at large pieces with his fork.
"I want all the chicken! I am going to be big! I'm going to eat all the chicken!" I gently reached across and took the plate away from him when he had about half a pound of beef. This brought out Mr. Hyde again.
"I AM EATING ALL THE CHICKEN!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaHHHHHHHHH!"
He went back to his room for another 5 minutes or so and when he came out again, he was normal for the rest of the night.
Well, for the most part anyway. When he was eating, he "noticed" that he didn't have his name tag from church on anymore. I assured him that it was okay and he doesn't need a name tag at home. I'm not so sure myself about that though - a tag that said "Crazy Daniel" or "Normal Daniel" would be nice to have.
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