Josh the Shovel

We went for our usual Saturday morning trip to the little farmers' market here in town this weekend. The farmers and products are starting to get few and far between now that the days are getting cooler and wetter. We didn't find anything to buy, so we kept on going til we got to the park.

Man, the boys love the park. It's an old Kinsmen-built park that reminds me of the Kinsmen park in the small Saskatchewan town where I grew up. The same steel swings, teeter-totters and tall slides. Even the old merry-go-round.

There is a swing set with three steel horses. These are obviously for the little ones, but the horses are over 3 feet from the ground. Kinda scary, but Josh loved it. "Yee-Ha! Cowboy! Yee-Ha! Cowboy!"

Well, we had been there close to an hour and we were on our way out. The boys were playing on the one modern play structure with a variety of slides and tubes in a sandy gravel pit. I helped Daniel slide down one of the tubes on his tummy and he flipped over and came out feet first. Of course, Joshie has to do everything his brother does.

The thing is that Josh always slides way faster than Daniel. He doesn't plant his shoes on the sides for brakes like his bigger brother. I put him in on his tummy and ran around to catch him at the bottom. He flew down like a torpedo and dove out face first into the sand. I picked him up and wiped him off. The guy wasn't even crying. Then he started spitting and wiping his tongue. His mouth and nose were full of sand. He had hit the dirt and plowed a good sized furrough.

We got him mostly cleaned out and headed back towards home to get him some juice to rinse his mouth and I heard a grinding and crunching. He was chewing on the last bit of sand in his mouth to get it out of his teeth. But still not even a hint of crying. He really would make a great yee-ha cowboy.

Holy %$#@!

This post has been rated PG for language

We were outside this afternoon before supper. I was barbecuing, the boys were running around and Amber was trying to organize some of our larger yard toys so the yard is more usable. Daniel comes around the corner saying, "Mommy needs you."

So I come and she's standing over our uninflated inflatable wading pool and said, shockingly calmly, "There are stinkbugs all over the shed, the sprinkler is covered with slugs, and I found a tarantula." Well, Amber despises bugs and has a tendency to overreact and exaggerate when she sees them. I've been called to take care of "tarantulas" before that were just fairly big brown house spiders. I came over, expecting to see a somewhat large bug.

In the rain water collected in the corner of the rubber pool there was a spider. It was completely underwater and not moving, but its body was a light green, and it looked like a very large peeled grape with long, thick, hairy legs. Seriously, if this bug was on Survivor, the castaways would have sat down with a carving knife, hats with buckles, and given thanks for such a bountiful feast.

In my surprise, I blurted out, "Holy crap!" before I realized that Daniel had followed me and was standing right behind me, almost attached to my leg. He of course saw the bug and with perfect pronunciation, inflection, and emotion, repeated my exclamation in a somewhat higher octave.

Amber says, "Daniel, don't say that." He does again.

I've heard stories of small children who learn to swear and when the adults laugh, they are encouraged to do it again and again, in increasingly more inappropriate places and situations.

I calmly turn and say "Daniel, that's not a nice word. You shouldn't say that."

And he didn't. Maybe he got distracted by something else. Maybe he's saving it for a better time. But maybe he understood and will try not to say bad words. He hears everything we say and stores it away to bring out later. I hope I can fill him with more good things than bad from now on.

Cold Turkey

Daniel had one of his hardest nights ever tonight. He's had a soother every night since he was born. Well, almost every night. Once, when he was a few months old we decided to let him cry himself to sleep. He cried hard after we put him to bed for about half an hour, then fell asleep. We felt so bad when we went in to get him in the morning and his soother was on the dresser - we'd somehow forgotten to give it to him on this traumatic night. But that's a totally different story.

Anyways, Amber and I have decided that it's getting to be about time for him to give up the soother. He's three years old and we don't want him to be one of those 6 year olds with a pacifier at the mall. Daniel and I had a conversation earlier in the day and worked out a "deal". After some negotiation we decided that if he could sleep a whole night without his soother, he could have 4 little candies the next day. Yeah, I know bribing him with morning sugar isn't the best thing, but oh well. It worked with potty training, we'll give it a shot.

So, we talked about it a few times over the day and Daniel seemed very excited at the prospect of candies. When he went to bed, we didn't get his soother. We read stories for a while and then he went to brush his teeth and get one more kiss from Mommy. On the way back, he asked for his soother.

"Remember the deal? Did you want to try to go without it tonight?"

"Yeah! Then I get jujubes."

So, I lay down with him for a while. He rolled around and was more antsy than normal. Finally, he turned to me and said, "I can't fall asleep."

"Do you want me to get your soother?"

"Yeah, no, yeah, no... ummm..."

"I'll go get it and you can decide."

So I went and brought it and he didn't want it so I held it. He played with it in my hand for a bit, closing my fingers around it. He'd roll away and then back and feel for it again.

Once, he took the soother and put it up to his lips and looked at me. I felt so bad for him. This was so hard but he wanted to do it.

"It's okay buddy. You can have it if you need it. We can try again tomorrow."

He started crying hard and gave it back to me. Put it in my hand and rolled away. His hand kept feeling for it but he still couldn't fall asleep.

"Do you want me to put it away so you don't have to think about it?"

"Yeah"

So, I stuck it in my pocket and he calmed down for a bit and then started rolling around in his bed again. Kind of nervously. He told me there were monsters in his closet and under his bed. We checked and found no monsters. He was kind of jittery. It's like he was going through de-tox but his will was so strong.

Finally, he was fishing around in the bed. I asked what he was looking for.

Smiling innocently he said, "Something blue..."

"Is it this?" I took out the soother. He smiled and took it. He rolled over towards the wall and fell asleep. Poor guy, he tried so hard. Tomorrow will be easier.

I guess I fell asleep too, cause Amber came in and woke me up some time later. I peeked over at Daniel before I left. He was still facing the wall. The soother was on the bed by his open hand. He didn't suck on it, he just needed to hold it. I snuck it away and counted this as a marvelous success. I think it counts.

Daniel has always been this way. Sleeping through the night, eating solid food, walking, potty training - all the same way. When he felt he was ready, he just did it. No messing around. No taking his time. He is such a determined little guy. I'm so proud.

Not so much

I hate to say it, but this job isn't so much fun anymore. I've been sick every day since I started. I came home from work yesterday hacking and coughing so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye and threw up at home. My eyes have started feeling like I have sandpaper under my lids and my forearms and neck are starting to get a rash. I also have been stuffed up and coughing at night so it's hard to sleep.

It started off pretty light so I thought it was just a cold, but this morning I went to the hospital and the doctor says it's a combination of bronchitis and likely a cedar allergy. He gave me a prescription for some antibiotics and antihistamines. I'll take them for the next few weeks and see how that works. I'll try wearing long-sleeved shirts and a mask at work on Monday too.

I can't even start to think about the idea that I am allergic to my job. I moved my family 8 hours from everyone we know and love to the middle of nowhere and now I may not be able to go to work. The church has really stepped out in faith to bring me here and I bet they are wondering what they got themselves into.

Speaking of the church, it's taking a while to get going too. I have led worship by myself the last 2 weeks and it looks like I'll be on my own again this weekend. I really wanted to put together a repertoire and a band, but all I've been able to do when I get home from work is cough and fall asleep. Hopefully next week will be more productive.

A friend of mine often signs off her blogs with the word "einop" for "ever in need of prayer". I am so einop right now. I know that most of our friends and family who are reading this are Christians and likely praying for us occasionally, but if you think of me, I could use some prayer for guidance in this time of confusion and change for our family. I may need to find a new job or a new way to do this job and that freaks me out.

I know this isn't really a "Dad's view" post, but it's what's on my mind, so that's what you get. We'll return you to your regularly scheduled cute kid stories shortly.

Phew!

I just completed my first day of work at the mill and I am exhausted. I worked 8 hours working with an air nailer and stapler (my brothers must be so proud). I get to make, package and wrap big skids of fence parts for most of the day. I actually got to stack big pieces of wood for the last hour. I came home with a pretty nasty looking cut on my forehead from the first 2x4 I touched that fell and split me open.

I am beat and sore, but I definitely thank God for this job. It is real work that will help me get in shape. It is so loud that everyone wears earplugs, so there's not a lot of talking - except during breaks - so I have time alone with my thoughts and can pray as much as I want. Working with wood makes me feel closer to Jesus than sitting in front of a laptop ever could.

And there's not much better after a hard day's work than hugs from my family. Amber and Daniel and Josh all came running when I got home. That made everything melt away.

Please excuse any weird grammar or spelling. I just wanted to get this down.

Forever

Well, we've finally moved. You can see Amber's blog for details about the move.

The boys are growing up so fast. Sometimes it feels like I'm gonna blink and it will all be over. I was putting Daniel to bed tonight after a long, but good day. I was reading him some poems from a Shel Silverstein book while cuddled up with him in his twin bed. I didn't want to stop. I didn't want that moment to stop.

We talked about our day and I gave him a kiss good night. He asked me to lay with him for "just a little bit" - as he's done every night since we moved here. I laid with him for a while and was about to get up and he said, "No Daddy, don't go yet."

"I have to go buddy. I have to go help mommy."

"No, stay for a little bit longer"

"I wish I could stay here with you forever."

With childlike wonder, "Forever?"

"Yeah, buddy. I'd love to stay here with you but I have to go. I'll see you in the morning. Maybe you could have a dream about me."

"Yeah, I could do that"

"Okay, I'll see you in your dreams. Good night."

It's moments like this that I'm glad I have. Once I start my new job, I'll be leaving around 6:45am four days a week so the evenings will be even more precious.

Boy, I sure love my boys.