This is a post I've been waiting to write. I've wanted to get this up for quite a while, but I've never got around to finishing it.
Some time ago I heard a story that made me realize that I'm not alone as a parent.
Many of our friends have girls. Perfect little princesses. Kids who you can trust in a home with nice things. Kids who would never dream of acting out the Lady and the Tramp spaghetti scene with their siblings.
Our boys are fairly polite and have pretty good manners but they are little fireballs of energy. They will touch and grab and climb and fight and lick and rip and pull almost anything they can get their hands on. And we've learned to live with that. They are boys. We've learned how to deal with them in public and keep them on a very short leash.*
So, when I heard that one of our friends took his daughters out in public by himself and they turned into little she-devils, it made me a little happy in a way. Kinda giddy. Now, I was sorry for him and felt really bad that he had to be alone with the girls when they started fighting and licking products and acting like, well like Daniel and Josh. But it made me feel like we are not alone. Even those kids that seem like perfect angels can lash out and act like kids.
I think I'd rather have it our way. Because the boys are fairly consistent in their volatility, we can expect it and have come up with ways of controlling and redirecting the energy. If it was infrequent and sudden, I think I'd snap.
To the parents in question: I know you are reading this and I hope I've protected your identity well enough. You know we love you and your kids. I'm not really happy that they are bad, but I am happy to know that they have moments of reality. :)
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*Not literally. Well, not usually anyway.
Saturday, April 29
Lumberjacks
Last spring we were living in a townhouse and we had a huge tree in our back yard. I don't know if I could have got my arms around it at the bottom. One day, a crew came by and cut that tree down. They stripped the branches off and cut it down to a short stump - that Daniel would later use as a stage. It left little pieces of wood and saw dust in our lawn for the rest of the season.
Today we are living in a different rented home and our landlord came by and cut down a huge tree from our yard. We're getting a little worried that as we move around this country, trees are getting cut down because of us.
He came by earlier this week and removed one of the big branches that was hanging over the roof. But he did this with an electric circular saw. He was standing on a 12 foot extension ladder - and sometimes sitting on the limb of the tree and cutting through these branches as big as my thigh with a carpenter's tool.
Today he came back with a different saw that looked like a hedge trimmer (again with about 50 ft of extension cord). I thought he was just going to clean up some of the mess he made - limbs half cut, half broken off. But he said he was going to trim it down to the fence line. This tree must be older than him and the fence was built around the trunk. His plan was to cut off the remaining branches, leaving the main trunk 6 or 7 ft tall. There was easily twice as much tree above his demarcation point than below but that didn't stop him.
Daniel and I went out to do some errands and when we came back he had found a gas chainsaw and was going to town on the trunk. He told me that he had underestimated how big this tree was and he couldn't get through the trunk with his saw. He said, "I got pissed at the tree and went home to get my chainsaw. When I got back I told the tree I wasn't bringing out my chainsaw just to cut through that one branch and leave it at the top of the fence so I cut the whole thing down."
Now we have a hole in the fence that's over three feet wide with a stump in the middle of it, branches, wood chips, saw dust, and twigs on the front lawn, in the yard, and a mess on the sidewalk and street. The landlord brought his pickup truck to carry away the wood, but like he said, he totally underestimated both the size and strength of this tree.
He actually attracted the attention of a neighbour who came by and wanted to take the bulk of the wood away. He loaded up a trailer - looked about the size of a horse trailer - with the larger branches and pieces of the trunk, but there was still probably 3 heaping loads of tree parts to cart away in the landlord's trunk.
We love this house and our landlord has been great about fixing things for us and taking care of issues, but it's things like this that make me wonder if he's related to a certain crazy neighbour my parents had that gave us endless hours of amusement watching him out the front window.
Today we are living in a different rented home and our landlord came by and cut down a huge tree from our yard. We're getting a little worried that as we move around this country, trees are getting cut down because of us.
He came by earlier this week and removed one of the big branches that was hanging over the roof. But he did this with an electric circular saw. He was standing on a 12 foot extension ladder - and sometimes sitting on the limb of the tree and cutting through these branches as big as my thigh with a carpenter's tool.
Today he came back with a different saw that looked like a hedge trimmer (again with about 50 ft of extension cord). I thought he was just going to clean up some of the mess he made - limbs half cut, half broken off. But he said he was going to trim it down to the fence line. This tree must be older than him and the fence was built around the trunk. His plan was to cut off the remaining branches, leaving the main trunk 6 or 7 ft tall. There was easily twice as much tree above his demarcation point than below but that didn't stop him.
Daniel and I went out to do some errands and when we came back he had found a gas chainsaw and was going to town on the trunk. He told me that he had underestimated how big this tree was and he couldn't get through the trunk with his saw. He said, "I got pissed at the tree and went home to get my chainsaw. When I got back I told the tree I wasn't bringing out my chainsaw just to cut through that one branch and leave it at the top of the fence so I cut the whole thing down."
Now we have a hole in the fence that's over three feet wide with a stump in the middle of it, branches, wood chips, saw dust, and twigs on the front lawn, in the yard, and a mess on the sidewalk and street. The landlord brought his pickup truck to carry away the wood, but like he said, he totally underestimated both the size and strength of this tree.
He actually attracted the attention of a neighbour who came by and wanted to take the bulk of the wood away. He loaded up a trailer - looked about the size of a horse trailer - with the larger branches and pieces of the trunk, but there was still probably 3 heaping loads of tree parts to cart away in the landlord's trunk.
We love this house and our landlord has been great about fixing things for us and taking care of issues, but it's things like this that make me wonder if he's related to a certain crazy neighbour my parents had that gave us endless hours of amusement watching him out the front window.
Get-togethers
Amber had a group of ladies over tonight for a "book study". I put that in quotes because only one of the six ladies actually found the time to read the book this month, so I doubt the discussion was really related to the story.
Anyway...
I got to put the boys to bed. We watched a movie in Daddy's bed and then I read some stories and tucked them in. I actually lay on the floor in their room for a while.* While I was resting with my sons, I could hear the laughter and joyful discussions down the hall very clearly.
It took me back to when I was about 8 years old. My parents would occasionally have people over to chat or play games or whatever. These "get-togethers" as I called them would often last way past my bedtime but I couldn't fall asleep. I was too nervous to go down the hall to say anything but I was uncomfortable enough that I wouldn't fall asleep until after everyone left.
I remember sitting in my bedroom doorway, or crawling down the hall a ways and sitting with my back to the wall, just listening to what was going on. The more I tried to ignore the sounds, the more my ears focused on them and wouldn't allow me to fall asleep.
It was weird though. As I was laying on the floor listening to the laughing coming down the hallway, I had that same weird feeling. Like I was trapped in my room and I couldn't come out, but I also would never be able to fall asleep. I felt like I was 8 years old again.
The boys did better than me. At least I think they did. Daniel was a little restless but he usually is at bed time. Josh was likely asleep before his head fully hit the pillow. That's my boy!
=====================
* Grammatical Note: (Because I'm just that weird. Feel free to skip this part if you aren't as bizzare as I am.) That sentence was difficult to write. Using the word "lay" instead of "laid" as the past tense of the intransitive verb "to lie" is correct but it feels awkward. Really awkward. Like, I mean I want to go up and change it to laid right now so people will know what I am talking about.
Anyway...
I got to put the boys to bed. We watched a movie in Daddy's bed and then I read some stories and tucked them in. I actually lay on the floor in their room for a while.* While I was resting with my sons, I could hear the laughter and joyful discussions down the hall very clearly.
It took me back to when I was about 8 years old. My parents would occasionally have people over to chat or play games or whatever. These "get-togethers" as I called them would often last way past my bedtime but I couldn't fall asleep. I was too nervous to go down the hall to say anything but I was uncomfortable enough that I wouldn't fall asleep until after everyone left.
I remember sitting in my bedroom doorway, or crawling down the hall a ways and sitting with my back to the wall, just listening to what was going on. The more I tried to ignore the sounds, the more my ears focused on them and wouldn't allow me to fall asleep.
It was weird though. As I was laying on the floor listening to the laughing coming down the hallway, I had that same weird feeling. Like I was trapped in my room and I couldn't come out, but I also would never be able to fall asleep. I felt like I was 8 years old again.
The boys did better than me. At least I think they did. Daniel was a little restless but he usually is at bed time. Josh was likely asleep before his head fully hit the pillow. That's my boy!
=====================
* Grammatical Note: (Because I'm just that weird. Feel free to skip this part if you aren't as bizzare as I am.) That sentence was difficult to write. Using the word "lay" instead of "laid" as the past tense of the intransitive verb "to lie" is correct but it feels awkward. Really awkward. Like, I mean I want to go up and change it to laid right now so people will know what I am talking about.
Growing Up
I just had a dream.
Some friends came over to visit and they were holding Andrew. After a while, one put him down on the floor - standing - and said, "Go. Walk to Daddy." And he did! He took the 8 or so steps to me.
I didn't even know he could stand up on his own. I said, "He can't walk. He's only 3 months old. Why would you even try that?"
Maybe my baby is growing up too fast. Maybe it feels like he's gonna be a year old before I know it. Maybe I want him to come to me.
Or maybe it was the chicken wings I had late last night.
Some friends came over to visit and they were holding Andrew. After a while, one put him down on the floor - standing - and said, "Go. Walk to Daddy." And he did! He took the 8 or so steps to me.
I didn't even know he could stand up on his own. I said, "He can't walk. He's only 3 months old. Why would you even try that?"
Maybe my baby is growing up too fast. Maybe it feels like he's gonna be a year old before I know it. Maybe I want him to come to me.
Or maybe it was the chicken wings I had late last night.
Monday, April 17
Reading Books
I don't think I've mentioned it yet, but Daniel is reading.
Not just reciting books he's had read to him hundreds of times or recognizing his name. This kid can actually read. Real books. We got a new Robert Munsch book from the library the other day and he could read the whole thing with just a few little helps per page. And once he learns a word like "appliance" on page 2, he'll remember it on page 7.
I don't know what to do with him. I was apparently reading too before I got to school but we lived in a small town so there weren't the multitude of options that we have here in a city of a million people. I want to keep up his love of learning, but not push him into things he's not ready for.
We'll see what looks good in the fall. Maybe music or gymnastics or soccer or something else. Should be exciting.
Not just reciting books he's had read to him hundreds of times or recognizing his name. This kid can actually read. Real books. We got a new Robert Munsch book from the library the other day and he could read the whole thing with just a few little helps per page. And once he learns a word like "appliance" on page 2, he'll remember it on page 7.
I don't know what to do with him. I was apparently reading too before I got to school but we lived in a small town so there weren't the multitude of options that we have here in a city of a million people. I want to keep up his love of learning, but not push him into things he's not ready for.
We'll see what looks good in the fall. Maybe music or gymnastics or soccer or something else. Should be exciting.
Ringmaster v.2.0
Joshie brought our family back about 27 years last night at Easter supper. He was sitting at the corner of the table (not eating - as usual) and playing with his vegetables. He had a pickle and a baby carrot standing up and called out (louder than he was expecting I'm sure), "Ladies and gentlemans, welcome from Veggie Tales!"
My whole family started laughing out loud. When I was about his age, I thought I was a ringmaster and would go around the house welcome all the ladies and gentlemen to the circus. It is pretty cool to see the boys doing things we did as kids.
My whole family started laughing out loud. When I was about his age, I thought I was a ringmaster and would go around the house welcome all the ladies and gentlemen to the circus. It is pretty cool to see the boys doing things we did as kids.
Happy Baby
Andrew is turning into a much happier baby now. We got him some medicine that helps control his reflux and we are getting smiles much more often now. It is so cute.
The other cute thing is that he is soothed by music. He can be in the worst, grumpiest mood, crying and screaming and if Amber or I sing him Faithful One by Brian Doerksen, he will either be cooing along or asleep by the end of the chorus. It's so nice to have a pleasant baby in the house. :)
The other cute thing is that he is soothed by music. He can be in the worst, grumpiest mood, crying and screaming and if Amber or I sing him Faithful One by Brian Doerksen, he will either be cooing along or asleep by the end of the chorus. It's so nice to have a pleasant baby in the house. :)
Friday, April 14
Good Friday's Feast
Appetizer
What movie soundtracks do you own?
Mr. Holland's Opus, a John Williams collection, Lion King
Soup
How much cash do you usually carry with you?
I always try to have $2.12 in the van for slurpees but I barely ever carry money with me.
Salad
Are you more comfortable around men or women? Why?
Kids. Yeah, it surprises me too, but there have been numerous times at Bible study, where I end up playing with the little ones instead of talking with the parents.
Main Course
What is the most mischievous thing you remember doing as a child?
Burning stuff. I remember putting a candle on the picnic table and spraying various aerosol chemicals through the flame to see what made the biggest fireball. Endust works pretty good.
Dessert
Who is the funniest member of your family?
Daniel was having a playdate with a bunch of kids last week and drew a picture of a boy. You could tell it was a boy because he had a penis. That makes me laugh every time I think of it.
What movie soundtracks do you own?
Mr. Holland's Opus, a John Williams collection, Lion King
Soup
How much cash do you usually carry with you?
I always try to have $2.12 in the van for slurpees but I barely ever carry money with me.
Salad
Are you more comfortable around men or women? Why?
Kids. Yeah, it surprises me too, but there have been numerous times at Bible study, where I end up playing with the little ones instead of talking with the parents.
Main Course
What is the most mischievous thing you remember doing as a child?
Burning stuff. I remember putting a candle on the picnic table and spraying various aerosol chemicals through the flame to see what made the biggest fireball. Endust works pretty good.
Dessert
Who is the funniest member of your family?
Daniel was having a playdate with a bunch of kids last week and drew a picture of a boy. You could tell it was a boy because he had a penis. That makes me laugh every time I think of it.
Monday, April 10
Itchy
I've been really busy lately but I feel bad that I haven't been updating as much. I'll try to post little things when I think of them.
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Last night, getting ready for bed, Daniel was hopping around his bedroom picking at his underwear. I got him into his bed and he was still flailing about like a goldfish on the counter. Amber went to kiss him good night and he said, with great distress, "My bum is itchy! Please scratch it!"
Amber said laughing, "No, you can scratch your own bum."
Daniel replied, "But I don't have any fingernails!"
-----
Last night, getting ready for bed, Daniel was hopping around his bedroom picking at his underwear. I got him into his bed and he was still flailing about like a goldfish on the counter. Amber went to kiss him good night and he said, with great distress, "My bum is itchy! Please scratch it!"
Amber said laughing, "No, you can scratch your own bum."
Daniel replied, "But I don't have any fingernails!"
Sunday, April 9
Friday's Feast on Sunday
Appetizer
Name a trait you share with your parents or your children.
The amazing McInnis Melon. A head that will never find a hat that fits. At least 4 generations now.
Soup
List 3 qualities of a good leader, in your opinion.
Servanthood
Vision
Compassion
Salad
Who is your favorite television chef?
Alton Brown
Main Course
Share a story about a gift you received from someone you love.
Amber has given me three beautiful boys and continues to give by staying home with them and raising them to become great, loving men.
Dessert
How do you react under pressure?
I twitch and either shut down or fly off in rage. I try more often to zip-push-bar and lock the emotions deep inside.
Name a trait you share with your parents or your children.
The amazing McInnis Melon. A head that will never find a hat that fits. At least 4 generations now.
Soup
List 3 qualities of a good leader, in your opinion.
Servanthood
Vision
Compassion
Salad
Who is your favorite television chef?
Alton Brown
Main Course
Share a story about a gift you received from someone you love.
Amber has given me three beautiful boys and continues to give by staying home with them and raising them to become great, loving men.
Dessert
How do you react under pressure?
I twitch and either shut down or fly off in rage. I try more often to zip-push-bar and lock the emotions deep inside.
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